full 3/4 1/2   skin light dark       
 
 
Chapter 3
 
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Gaping mouths were what Buffy was left with when she closed the door and turned back around. She ignored them and proceeded to the kitchen, holding on to a small thread of hope that neither would say what she knew they both wanted to.
 
“What the hell was that?” Dawn asked.
 
Buffy sighed. “That was Spike.”
 
“Yeah, I got that part. What was he doing here?”
 
“I told you. He’s the one who found Camilla,” she replied, opening the refrigerator and pulling out the milk.
 
“And he just happened to be the one that found her?” Willow asked skeptically.
 
“I know it seems impossible, but it’s what happened.” The slayer rummaged through the cabinets for a glass.
 
“And you’re not the least bit concerned about this?”
 
Buffy put the glass on the counter and looked at her sister and best friend. “Of course I think it’s strange. But do I think it’s really him? Yes. I can’t really explain it, but I just… know.”
 
“That still doesn’t explain why you’re all cool with it. You have seen the guy in years, and you’re acting like it was just yesterday that you two were cuddling in the basement,” Dawn said.
 
Buffy opened the milk and poured some into her glass. “I just asked him for coffee. Maybe I’m genuinely curious about what he’s been doing.”
 
“And that’s it?” Dawn wondered.
 
Buffy replaced the lid and put the milk back in the refrigerator. “There are things I need to know.”
 
Both women looked at her, both assuming they knew exactly what she was talking about.
 
“Buffy,” Willow started, “Are you sure you even want to know?”
 
“Yes,” she replied in a voice that she hoped sounded solid and sure. Did she want to know? Of course she did. Would she regret knowing later? Possibly. “I have to know what happened to him.”
 
“And what will that do?” Dawn asked her sister in her best concerned voice.
 
“I have to know.” Buffy down the glass of milk and sat her glass on the counter. “We should get some rest. Big day tomorrow.”
 
And with that, she left the two women standing in the living room staring after her.
-----------------
 
Spike stared at himself in the mirror. He felt like a git. Buffy had called him, but not to get coffee like she’d originally said. No. She wanted him to come to Dawn’s graduation dinner with them. Maybe she’d decided she didn’t want to be alone with him. Or maybe Red had convinced her that it was a bad idea. Spike knew Willow was suspicious of him, for one reason or another. But he really couldn’t blame her. It was a hell of a coincidence that he’d been the one to find Camilla.
 
Spike gave his outfit a final once over and shook his head. Dressing up was not something he enjoyed doing, black jeans and a black t-shirt being his preferred attire. At least his pants were black. The shirt he adorned was a button up, white-ish in color with thin pin stripes running down it. He sighed but grabbed his wallet, yes he had a wallet now, less for identification than just a place to keep his money, and headed for the door.
 
By the time he reached Dawn’s apartment it was almost eight. The sun had completely descended, leaving him free to walk outside of the shadows. He knocked on the door, expecting… well he didn’t really know what he was expecting.
 
Willow opened the door. She didn’t look exceptionally thrilled to see him, but he’d been anticipating that. At least she didn’t turn him into a rat on sight.
 
“Spike, so glad you could make it.” She didn’t bother giving him a smile they both knew would be fake. She was still in research mode, having contacted the coven earlier in the day. The kicker was, they hadn’t been as shocked as she had to hear the news, but that was not to say they weren’t concerned about it. They had simply instructed her to keep an eye on him until they got back to her.
 
She stepped aside to let him enter the apartment. “I’m gonna go finish getting ready. Buffy should be out soon.”
 
Almost as soon as the witch had disappeared into one of the bedrooms, Buffy came out of the other one, Dawn right behind her.
 
“Spike, hey,” Dawn said cheerfully. “Thanks for coming.”
 
“Wouldn’t have missed it. ‘Sides, didn’t I always tell you I’d take you out when you graduated?”
 
Dawn smiled. “Yes. I just always assumed you meant high school.”
 
The summer when they’d spent the most time together, after Buffy died, Dawn had had a hard time adjusting to everything. She hadn’t finished her sophomore year of high school, so Spike had attempted to help her catch up over the summer. He had been especially good at history and English. One night when she begged to go out instead of working on her school work, he’d promised her that when she graduated, then he’d take her wherever she wanted to go. And he’d meant anywhere. Even if it meant she’d need a passport to get there. He’d learned early on in his life as a vampire that bribery was an excellent method of getting something one wanted done, and he’d been determined to get his little nibblet into college and on to a good life. He knew that would have been what Buffy and Joyce both would have wanted.
 
“Take her out?” Buffy asked, with a slight edge to her voice.
 
“In a brotherly way of course,” Dawn assured her. “He was motivating me to do well in school.”
 
“Oh.” Buffy looked at the vampire for a confirmation. The look on his face told her what she wanted to know.
 
Dawn just laughed as she stepped into the kitchen to grab a water from the refrigerator. Buffy motioned for Spike to have a seat on the couch, to which he complied.
 
“How was the graduation?” he asked her.
 
“It was alright; really long.”
 
“Never been to one myself.”
 
“You should try to avoid it at all costs.”
 
“You know I can hear you,” Dawn said.
 
The slayer and vampire only smiled at each other.
 
“I’ll try and remember that,” Spike said.
 
“Mommy, mommy, I can’t find my other shoe.”
 
Camilla entered the room, walking a bit awkward, due to the fact that she only had one shoe on. When she saw who was sitting beside her mother, her whole attitude changed.
 
“Mr. Spike,” she yelled running up and grabbing him around the neck.
 
Spike was, at first, too shocked to move, and then slowly wrapped his arms around the small child.
 
“I’m so glad you’re here.”
 
Buffy watched as Spike hugged her daughter back. It was a strange sight, but it wasn’t unpleasant. In fact, it was almost a relief that Spike and Camilla seemed to get along so well.
 
“Me too, Bit.”
 
The girl finally let go of him, but didn’t move away.
 
“Mommy said that you were going to dinner with us, and then she started talking a lot and walking around. It took her a long time to get ready.”
 
Buffy could feel the blood rush to her cheeks as Spike looked at her.
 
“She kept asking me and Aunty Dawn if she looked skanky… whatever that means… but I told her she looks like a princess. Don’t you think she looks like a princess, Mr. Spike?”
 
“Yeah, she does at that,” he said with a smile in her direction.
 
She smiled back, still slightly embarrassed.
 
Another knock on the door broke the two from their gaze.
 
“I’ll get it,” Camilla yelled as she ran awkwardly towards the door. She opened it to reveal Xander and Giles, also decked out in dress slacks and button-ups.
 
“Uncle Xander and Grandpa Giles.”
 
Buffy walked up behind her daughter and greeted the two men.
 
“Hey Cam,” Xander said, “You have fun with that game I bought you?”
 
“Oh, yes. I made mommy and Aunty Willow play it with me like twenty times.”
 
“And I bet they really loved that,” he said with a look at Buffy, who rolled her eyes.
 
She motioned for them to come into the apartment.
 
“Didn’t I tell you to tell her not to call me that?” Giles asked Buffy.
 
She laughed. “Sorry, Giles. You know how well she listens.”
 
“Spike, I heard you were back in the land of the living. Or, so to speak,” Xander said when he saw the man sitting on the couch.
 
“Miss me?” Spike asked with a smirk.
 
“I wouldn’t go that far. Nice duds you got there. You look almost human.”
 
“Thanks, mate,” he replied.
 
“So, where is Willow?” Xander asked Buffy.
 
“She’s in the back, changing.”
 
He nodded and sat down, pulling Cam on his lap.
 
“Did you get Dawn to play your new game with you earlier?” he asked her.
 
“No. Aunty Dawn and Mr. Eric were in her room,” Camilla told him, “She said they needed some grown-up time. I don’t know what that means and no one will tell me.”
 
“I’ll tell you... someday.”
 
“That’s what mommy said, too.”
 
“And I will tell you… in twenty years,” Buffy told her.
 
“That’s a long time.”
 
“Passes by quicker than you think, Nibblit.”
 
“And he would know,” Xander added. “He’s like 200 and something now.”
 
Camilla looked questioningly at Spike. “That’s not what you said.”
 
“It’s close.”
 
“You’re still really old. But not as old as Grandpa Giles, right mommy?”
 
Giles sent a glare in Buffy’s direction, and she gave him a fake smile.
 
“Of course not, sweetheart.”
 
“But the other day you said he was the oldest man alive.”
 
“No…,” she looked at Giles, “… no… I said he was the boldest… uh… man alive.” She tried another smile, but he only narrowed his eyes at her.
 
“No you didn’t.”
 
“Xander, why don’t you and Cam go see what’s keeping Willow.”
 
“Yeah, let’s do that.” He took the little girl’s hand and led her out of the room.
 
“Kids… they say the darnedest things,” Buffy told Giles, who still looked rather offended by the whole thing.
 
“Don’t take it personally, Giles,” Dawn said. “You should hear what Buffy says about me.”
 
The slayer sat down on the couch beside Spike. “I really need to watch what I say around her.”
 
“So it seems, Pet.”
 
A few moments later, Willow came into the room, followed by Xander and Camilla.
 
“We found her,” the young girl exclaimed.
 
“Great.”
 
“Are we ready?” Willow asked.
 
“I think we are,” Dawn said.
 
“Where’s Eric?” Buffy asked her sister.
 
“He’s meeting us there. He had to take care of some stuff.”
 
“Okay then, I guess we can head out.”
 
The gang grabbed their coats and Buffy put Camilla’s other shoe, which had been under the coffee table, on her foot. After she got her shoes on, Camilla went and stood beside Giles.
 
“How old are you, Grandpa Giles?”
 
“Old enough to know better than to ask questions like that,” he replied.
 
“Aunty Dawn said you were over the hill, and my friend Katy said that means really old.”
 
Dawn coughed and started out the door. “Dinner anyone?”
----------------------
 
“That was probably one of the best dinners I have ever had.”
 
“You’re only saying that because you didn’t have to pay for it,” Eric said as he kissed his girlfriend.
 
“That’s not the only reason I’m saying it.”
 
“Right.”
 
“Well, I for one, agree with Dawnie,” Xander said. “It was delicious.”
 
“Can I take my shoes off now?” Camilla asked Buffy.
 
“No, honey. Wait until we get back.”
 
“But they hurt my feet and I’m tired of walking.”
 
“Maybe I can help you with that,” Eric said bending down. “How about a piggy back ride?”
 
“Yes yes,” she exclaimed.
 
She ran around and jumped onto his back. He stood back up, grabbing her legs, and they started walking again.
 
“Look, mommy. I’m taller than you.”
 
“I see.” Buffy smiled at her daughter’s excitement. She missed the days when piggy back rides could make her that happy.
 
Willow hooked her arm in Xander’s. “How’ve you been? I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”
 
“I know. You really need to come to Africa more often.”
 
“Or maybe you should come to England.”
 
“Maybe I will. After all, now that Naomi and I broke up, I don’t really have much of a reason to stay there.”
 
“And we could always use some help at Slayer Central. You know I always said you should be a watcher.”
 
“I don’t know about all of that, but I do miss seeing you.”
 
She gave him a sideways hug. “Who wouldn’t miss seeing me?”
 
Giles was up ahead, talking with Dawn about her future, whilst Eric was sort of galloping with Camilla on his back. A few feet away from everyone else, a certain vampire and slayer were having a conversation of their own.
 
“I don’t know, though. I mean, do you really think a person of her size could throw a demon that far?” Buffy asked.
 
“People have thought similar things about you, luv.”
 
He had a point. It used to always bug her when demons and even regular people would joke about her size, saying that she probably couldn’t even smush a fly. She would always have to defend herself, or hit them to show just how wrong they were.
 
“Okay. So maybe she can, but I just don’t see Bat Girl as being the next big super hero.”
 
“You never know.”
 
She laughed, amused by his interest in such pointless things. She glanced over at him and saw that he had his hands in his pockets. His hair really stood out from what he was wearing. It looked a little out of place, and yet she couldn’t imagine him without it.
 
“You really do look great, Spike. It’s actually a little weird how well you pull off such a polished look.”
 
He laughed lightly. “Thanks, Slayer, but don’t get used to it. This was a one time deal.”
 
“Shame.” She smiled at him.
 
It was strange how she’d adjusted to his presence. She’d run into him yesterday, and she was already used to him being around. Of course, that only meant that it would be harder when she and Camilla had to go back to New York.  
 
“Well, here we are, ladies,” Xander announced when they were back in front of Dawn’s building.
 
“You guys headed back to your hotel?” Buffy asked him.
 
“Yeah. I think the G-man and me are gonna head back and catch some shut eye. But we’ll see you at the airport in the morning.”
 
Everyone said their goodbyes to them and then to Eric, who decided he should let Dawn spend the night with her sister since she was leaving the next day. Spike was going to leave as well, when Camilla grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door.
 
“Come in, Mr. Spike. I have to show you something.”
 
“Alright, Bit.”
 
The three women followed them into the building. Once they were inside the apartment, Camilla pulled Spike into the bedroom she had been sleeping in, and proceeded to show him every toy she had brought with her to L.A.
 
“And this is my most favoritist toy in the world.” She held up a doll. “Her name is Sasha. Isn’t she pretty?”
 
“Lovely.”
 
“I got her for my birthday last year. My next birthday is almost here, and then I will be five, and then I can go to school.”
 
“Wow,” he said, trying to sound as enthused as she was.
 
Buffy entered the room and stood leaning against the doorway.
 
“Mr. Spike, are you gonna come to my birthday party?”
 
“I don’t know, Bit. You’re leaving tomorrow.”
 
“But can’t you come with us?”
 
“I don’t think so.”
 
“Why not?”
 
Honestly, he didn’t know. There was really no reason that he couldn’t go, except for Buffy. She probably wouldn’t want him to go, despite the fact that they had had a nice evening together. 
 
“Well I…”
 
“Please.”
 
Spike looked to Buffy for some help.
 
“It’s up to you, Spike.”
 
Up to him? What did that mean? Was that her way of telling him that she wanted him to come, or was she trying to let him know that she didn’t want him to come, and she just wanted him to seem like the bad guy in the situation? One thing was for certain; he may live another thousand years and never understand women.
 
“I’ll think about it, Bit.”
 
“Don’t think too hard. Aunty Dawn says that if you think too hard your head will explode.”
 
“Okay. I won’t think too hard.” He stood up. “I should probably go. You two need to get to bed.”
 
“Goodnight, Mr. Spike. I really hope you come with us,” Camilla said, hugging his legs. And then she jumped into the bed.
 
Buffy informed her she’d be back to tuck her in and followed Spike into the living room.
 
“What did you mean in there?” Spike asked, facing the woman he was speaking to. “About New York.”
 
Buffy swallowed. What had she meant? The words had left her mouth before she had time to really even think about them. Maybe it was her subconscious desire to find out what had happened in L.A. all those years ago. When Dawn had insisted Spike join them for dinner, Buffy had been a slight bit relieved. This way he wouldn’t get the wrong idea about her asking him for coffee, but being with a crowd of people also meant she hadn’t gotten a chance to ask him what she really wanted to know. Instead they had ended up in a discussion on the future of super heroes.
 
“I… I’m not sure what I meant. It just came out. Like word vomit.” She cringed at her own choice of words.
 
He studied her expression, trying to decipher it. He could easily pack up his things and go with them. He had no other permanent future plans at the moment. But going across the country with the slayer and her daughter seemed extreme after so many years of not seeing her.
 
“It doesn’t have to be a permanent thing. There are a lot of hotels near where we live,” she babbled. “And I could always use an extra hand on patrol.” That wasn’t technically true, but how could she tell him the truth about why she wanted him to go when she wasn’t even sure what the truth was.
 
Dawn picked possibly the best time to enter the room. “Sorry, am I interrupting?” she asked when she saw they were looking at her.
 
“No,” they both responded almost immediately.
 
“Ooookay,” she said, clearly not accepting the answer. “Are you leaving, Spike?” she asked approaching them.
 
He nodded a yes, unsure about where he was actually leaving to.
 
“Well, it was good to see you again. And thank you for dinner.” She gave him a hug and he returned it.
 
“It was good to see you, Nibblet.”
 
“Are you sticking around the city?”
 
Spike’s gaze settled briefly on Buffy, who was giving him an inquiring look.
 
“I’m not sure,” he told Dawn.
 
“Well, if you do we’ll have to get together sometime. Really catch up.”
 
“Course,” he said with a smile. “I should head out now. Give you time with your sis.”
 
Dawn gave him a final hug before leaving the room once more. She wasn’t sure what all was going through Buffy’s mind at the moment, but she would make sure to find out before her sister left the city.
 
Spike made a move for the door.
 
“Our plane leaves at nine… if you… decide to come,” Buffy said, causing him to turn around.
 
She was still wearing an unreadable expression.
 
He nodded. “Maybe I’ll see you.”
 
Not knowing what else to say, Spike said goodbye to her and headed back to his hotel. He had a lot to think about.
------------------
 
“We better get Mr. Spike a ticket. I want him to sit next to me on the airplane.”
 
“We don’t even know if he’s coming,” Buffy said to her daughter.
 
“He is.”
 
She sounded very confident, and Buffy began to worry that she would be disappointed. “Just don’t get your hopes up, Cam.”
 
The little girl crinkled her nose. “You do want him to come with us, don’t you mommy?”
 
Buffy looked down at her daughter, but didn’t know how to respond. Did she want him to come? That question had been plaguing her since he’d left the apartment. She couldn’t necessarily answer that. However, there was still so much that she’d wanted to ask him, so much she needed answered. But could she really ask him to travel to New York just so she could play 20 questions with him about the past? And once he found out what she wanted so desperately to know, would he still act so friendly towards her?
 
She also felt a tugging at the back of her mind. Could there possibly be another reason she’d felt the need to give him an open invitation to go with them? No, she reassured herself. It was simply curiosity. That and the fact that he’d stated he had no set plans for his future.
 
“Mommy?” Camilla said, pulling the slayer out of her thoughts.
 
“What, sweetheart?”
 
“Don’t you want Mr. Spike to come with us?”
 
Buffy took a breath and looked out the apartment window at the night sky.
 
“Yeah, I think I do.”
-----------------------
 
Spike entered the hotel room and fell down on the bed. He really needed to decide what to do. Buffy’s daughter wanted him to move to New York with her and her mother. So the question was, should he go? He hadn’t been able to tell whether Buffy really wanted him to come or not.
 
In the few hours they had spent time together the past two days, it had seemed like she really liked being around him again, but was that enough for him to move across the country for her? ‘Yes,’ his inner voice said. ‘It’s more than enough.’ And honestly, he had nothing else to do. He had no real reason to stay in L.A., and the little bit really wanted him to go.
 
On the other hand, it could make things complicated between him and the slayer. They had gotten along pretty well, sure, but he knew that in the long run nothing would ever happen between them. He was a vampire, and that meant he could never give her the kind of life that she wanted or needed. And there was no way he could be a father figure for the girl.
 
Spike inwardly cursed himself for even thinking such thoughts. In no way had Buffy insinuated she wanted anything from him, especially not a new daddy for her child. She’d probably sock him for even daring to think about that. And in the off chance that she did actually want him to come with them, he was sure it had nothing to do with being with him in any way.
 
To stay or to go?
 
He wasn’t exactly sure what the right thing was, but he was bound and determined to figure it out before the night was over.
-----------------------
 
“I still can’t believe you asked him to go with you,” Dawn said.
 
They were standing in the front lobby of LAX. Willow and Xander had taken Camilla to get some ice cream. Eric was seated next to Giles nearby, talking to him about advancements in technology. They shared the same sentiment about books. The kind you could hold in your hands. That left the two sisters to talk… not something Buffy was especially keen on doing.
 
“I didn’t ask him. Camilla did.”
 
Dawn gave her sister a pointed look. “And then you all but told him you wanted him to come.”
 
“No I didn’t. I told him that it was his decision.”
 
“Which wasn’t an ‘I don’t want you to come’.”
 
Buffy sighed and looked around the lobby. It wasn’t that she’d expected Spike to come, but Camilla had insisted they buy him a plane ticket to ensure that he would be seated next to her on the flight. She was really excited about him coming to her birthday party. Buffy couldn’t help but hope that he showed up, for her daughter’s sake of course. Even if Spike only came to New York until the birthday party and then left, that would give her plenty of time to talk to him alone and hopefully find out some things.
 
“He’ll show,” Dawn said before walking over to sit with Giles and Eric. “He’d better show,” she said quietly.
 
“Maybe it would be for the best if he didn’t,” Giles replied.
 
Since receiving the call from Dawn informing him that Spike had shown up on her doorstep, Giles had found himself fretting about the whole situation. It wasn’t that he didn’t think Spike was Spike. In fact, he was almost positive he was. What bothered the former watcher was how quickly Buffy had taken up with him. It was one thing to run into someone you hadn’t seen in a while and invite them to a group dinner to catch up. It was another entirely to then ask that person to move in with you after two days. Giles knew Buffy held a soft spot for the vampire, something he’d never quite understood. Even after everything the two of them had put the other through; they still cared for each other. That much was obvious. And that was not good.
 
Giles knew that Buffy was in no position to have a man as unstable as Spike thrown back into her life. She had adjusted to single parenthood well, but he knew his slayer was lonely. He’d even heard Dawn talk about her going on dates with a man she’d met at work. He honestly hoped she could find someone to fall in love with, to help her raise her child. Someone who was not a vampire.
 
She’d done her best to convince him that she had no intention of getting back together with Spike, but he feared that even if she was in fact head strong against it, that her feelings would get the better of her one way or another. And he didn’t want any more risk being brought on his self-proclaimed granddaughter. Though being considered a grandpa made Giles feel old, he still loved the little girl with all his heart and knew that he would do anything for her. Including staking any of her mother’s potential love interests if it became necessary.
 
“Oh, Giles please. You know as well as I do that no one can keep Buffy away from what she wants.”
 
The older man sighed. Dawn had an excellent point. Buffy would do what she wanted, no matter if it seemed logical or not. And whether or not he or anyone else agreed with it.
 
“So you think she’s still in love with him?” Eric asked.
 
Giles made a face and Dawn shrugged. “Only time will tell.”
 
“If he shows,” Eric said.
 
“Oh, he’ll show,” Dawn said again.
---------------------
 
Buffy fiddled with the zipper on her jacket. The more time passed, the more nervous she became. It was almost time to leave, and Spike wasn’t here. Why she was letting herself get so worked up over this? She glanced over at Camilla, who was sitting beside Xander, eating ice cream. She’d really gotten her hopes up that Spike would sit next to her on the plane and come to her party and be her new bestest friend.
 
He’d better show up…or she’d kick his ass.
 
“Buffy, I think we should go ahead and check our luggage. The flight leaves in less than an hour,” Willow was saying.
 
Buffy knew she was right. The time for waiting on Spike was nearly over. There was still a chance he could make it before the plane took off, but getting through security might be his undoing.
 
“Alright, let’s go.”
 
“But Mr. Spike’s not here yet, mommy,” Camilla pouted.
 
“I know, sweetie, but we can’t wait any longer for him. We’ll miss our flight.”
 
Camilla continued to pout into her ice cream.
 
“I love you guys. Thanks for coming,” Dawn told the five people about to board a plane to New York.
 
Willow and Giles, both headed back to England, were catching a layover in the city. Xander had another two layovers ahead of him before getting back to South Africa.
 
“Anytime, Dawnie,” Xander told her, giving her a hug. “You just better send us invitations to that wedding.”
 
“Oh, don’t worry. You’ll get one.”
 
Dawn took turns hugging everyone else, as they all said their goodbyes to her and Eric.
 
“I’ll see you all soon, I promise.”
 
Buffy gave her sister one last hug, before grabbing Camilla’s hand. She cast another look around the room.
 
‘I guess he’s not coming,’ she thought to herself.
 
They got in the line to check in their luggage. Only a few hours, and Buffy and Camilla would be back home, back to their life.
 
“Buffy.”
 
At the sound of her sister’s voice, the slayer turned around. The girl was jumping excitedly and pointing. Buffy followed her finger and soon saw what, or who rather, she was pointing to. A smile appeared on her face as she saw him walking towards her. He had only a single duffel bag with him, decked out in his usual black attire.
 
“I thought you weren’t coming,” was what she said when he reached her.
 
Before he could get a word out, Camilla had his legs locked in a death grip.
 
“I knew you would come. I knew it.”
 
“You were right, Bit. Couldn’t pass up that party, now could I?”
 
The little girl smiled from ear to ear. “It will be the bestest birthday party ever! We’re gonna have cake and cookies and pizza and juice and people are gonna bring me stuff…”
 
She continued to ramble on as they checked their bags and made their way through security. By the time they reached their terminal, Spike had received the 411 on all things related to clowns, magicians, and balloon animals. And he could only smile at the child that he was growing more and more fond of everyday, still unsure if that was a good thing or not.
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