a/n: Betas: Slaymesoftly, Raynedanser, and Mabel Marsters.

Banner made by: me, Dawnofme.


Soul Survivors
Chapter Three: The Sooner; The Better



“Come and sit with me.” Buffy patted the spot on the porch steps beside her and gave Willow an encouraging smile. It was always awkward when a person interrupted a couple while they were making out.

Willow’s tentative smile faded as she sat down next to her friend who was now a vampire. Buffy didn’t blame her for being wigged out.

“What’s it like?” Willow asked softly.

Buffy gazed up at the star filled sky and took a moment before saying, “It’s not really all that bad.” She sighed, and then perked up. “I can see better. I also smell things better and hear things better, but the clear and sharp view at night is most spectacular. In some ways I feel more alive now then I did before…”

“I feel so bad that you were all alone when it happened and after.”

“I wasn’t alone for that long. I spent well over twenty-four hours in a cave after I dusted Drusilla, and that was a pretty bad time. I was so hungry, but I couldn’t come out of game face. No matter how hard I tried. As soon as I was able to look human, I went to the butcher shop and got some blood. The next night, Spike found me.” She smiled and hugged herself.

“From the looks of things, you and Spike are getting along very nicely,” Willow teased softly.

Buffy forced herself to look Willow in the eye. It wasn’t easy to push past the anxiety she felt with her worry over what her friends would think. All she saw in Willow was a haunting sadness and an accepting smile. Buffy felt like smacking herself even though she knew that she wasn’t the most perceptive of friends.

Poor Willow. Here she was happy and in love, while Willow deeply mourned for Tara.

“How are you doing?” Buffy asked, putting a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

“I’m doing better,” Willow said and her eyes lit up. “The coven in England was such an amazing place. The people were so nice, and they embraced me and showered me with their love and goodness. I’m so glad I agreed to go.”

“I’m glad you did, too. So they’ve helped you to move on?”

Willow shrugged. “In a way. I think what I got most out of it all was that I can never really move on from what happened. What I did and what I almost did has to stay with me, so I never go to that bad place again.” She tucked a stray lock of red hair behind her ear. “I can never forget that I killed a man and almost destroyed the world.”

“So, no magic for the time being?”

“I’m magic free,” Willow said cheerfully and slapped her knees.

Buffy glanced behind her to make sure the door was still closed. “Where is your admirer?”

Willow touched her cheeks and groaned. “After I turned down her latest proposition, she left to patrol.”

Buffy stifled a giggle. Willow glared at her before dropping her shoulders and sighing. “I kind of wish she’d leave me alone.”

“Faith could be a nice distraction,” Buffy said in a small voice, unsure how Willow would take her advice.

“You are not going to believe this, but that is exactly what Xander said the other night.” Willow stared at Buffy with big eyes. “Why do straight people think that just because a girl is gay, that she can easily hook up with another woman simply because they are both gay?” She shook her head and Buffy remained wisely quiet. “It doesn’t work that way. Do you secretly wish to hook up with every man that crosses your path?”

“No. You’re right and I see your point. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Buffy, it’s okay. Really. Faith is totally hot, but she’s not my type. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever find a girl who is my type again. Tara was special.”

Buffy put her arms around her and hugged her tight. “Tara was special. I just hate to see you hurting. Is there anything I can do?”

Gently pulling away from Buffy, Willow wiped at her tears and smiled at her friend. “Yes. You can get Faith off my back. I know she finds it amusing, but I don’t. Every time she leers at me, I feel a spell coming on.” Willow’s voice went low. “My eyes glaze over and I can feel them wanting to turn black. My scalp itches and I feel the black roots coming in.”

Buffy leaned further away from her and looked horrified until Willow burst out laughing. “Gotcha!”

Letting out the unneeded breath that she had been holding, Buffy chuckled. She was glad that she had her Willow here. All the bad that had happened a few months ago was behind them. Sitting on the back porch talking about their problems was like old times and she longed for the old days back in high school.

“But seriously, I wouldn’t mind if you had a talk with her.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes at Giles when he stopped writing and slammed a book shut before turning around.

“Spike?”

“You gonna tell me why you’ve been avoiding Buffy, or do I have to go through that bloody diary of yours to find out?”

The man stood up, nearly knocking the chair over, and whipped his glasses off his face to clean them. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Oh, don’t play dumb with me, Rupert.” Spike stepped further into the room and sat at the edge of the bed. “You might as well sit back down. I have a feeling this is going to take a while.

“Rather, you should leave. I’ve very busy and not up to playing games with you.”

Crossing his booted feet, Spike got comfortable and glared at him. He’d been around a long time and knew when someone was nervous. The man’s heart was racing and he gripped the back of the chair far too tightly. The glare he was aiming at Spike did not affect him.

“I’m not going anywhere until you answer my question.”

“I’m not avoiding Buffy.”

“So what would you call it when you won’t look the girl in the eye, when you refuse to speak directly to her, and every time we come by, you find excuses to get away from the lot of us?”

“I-that’s not what-”

“Do you have any idea how hurt she is? A few minutes ago, she was reduced to tears, because she thinks that the only father figure she’s ever really had is disappointed in her.”

Giles’ flinched and his closed off expression softened the slightest bit. It wasn’t much, but at least now, Spike knew that the man still cared for his girl. That was something and he could work with that.

“I don’t blame her for what’s happened. She was attacked from behind, and there is nothing she could have done to save herself. I know that if there was a way, she would have taken it.”

“So then why the hell are you up here and not downstairs with the rest of us?”

Giles pulled the chair out and faced it towards the bed, before sitting down. Putting his glasses on, he stared at Spike for a long moment. He was sizing the vampire up and Spike willed Giles to trust him. It was obvious that the man desperately wanted to tell him something.

Spike leaned forward. “What ever it is, you have to know that I’m on Buffy’s side. All I want to do is make things easier for her. I know we’ve never seen eye to eye and in the past, I have been a real pain in the arse, but I promise you, you can trust me.”

Taking satisfaction in the fact that he’d surprised the man again, Spike straightened up and put on his most trustworthy face. Giles looked down at his hands.

“There are things that I can’t yet discuss with anyone. I’m waiting for a book to arrive. Perhaps when it gets here, I will have some answers and then things can change.”

“What aren’t you telling me?” Spike stood up. “Is Buffy still in danger from the Council, because I thought I set that straight.”

Giles got to his feet and put his hands out. “I promise you this: If I feel that Buffy is in danger from the Council or anyone else, I will send for you right away.”

Spike narrowed his eyes and studied him. There was something not right about all of this, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“I trust that you are a man of your word?”

Giles started and his eyes got wide, but he collected himself and shook his head. “Yes, I am a man of my word.”

“Good. It would make Buffy feel better if you stopped treating her like a pariah.”

Giles looked down again, struggling to rein in conflicted emotions. “That might not be possible. It might be easier for her if we kept our distance.”

“What the hell is going on, that you can’t get close to her?” Spike said, raising his voice with every word.

“I-I may have to leave. It’s very possible that I will have to get lost somewhere where the Council cannot find me. I worry that she will be hurt even more, if we get close again only to have me disappear on her. I fear that it will be hard on me as well.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~



Downstairs and outside, the two girls sat side by side.

“I’ll talk to her for you. I can even go into game face again.”

“What was that all about earlier? Faith said something about touching Spike?”

Buffy sighed. “I’m still learning how to control my emotions and the demon that now shares my space.” She turned her attention to the leaves from the bush poking through the railing and pulled a few off. “Faith went to touch Spike’s neck and I lost that control and nearly bit her head off.”

“We all noticed those marks, but I wasn’t going to say anything. Did you loose control and bite Spike in a fit of anger?”

Buffy snorted. “I’m so, so glad I can’t blush anymore.” She tore pieces off the leaves and watched them fall to the step below. “I did loose control in a way, but Spike was very willing. It’s a vampire love kind of thing.” Buffy shrugged.

It was quiet while the witch processed that last bit of information. “Oh. Oh!” Willow blushed for the both of them, and then giggled. She nudged Buffy. “I guess things between you two are really, really good then?”

“Oh, yeah.” Buffy tossed the leaves away. “But there is so much more than the physical stuff.” She glanced at Willow. “I’m in love with him.”

It felt good to say it aloud to someone else, making it more real somehow.

Willow gave her a soft smile. “I’ve known that for a long time.” When Buffy squinted at her in confusion, she added, “I was there that night when we saw Anya and him together at the Magic Box. Remember? I saw your face; you were devastated. Probably more so than Xander.”

“I can’t deny that.”

The door creaked open. “Hey, you guys,” Xander said cheerfully. “I was wondering where you all got off too.” He glanced around the yard as the two girls got up. “Where’s Fang Face?”

“I think he’s talking to Dawn,” Buffy said as she stretched, doing her best to ignore the bigoted nickname. It’s not as if Spike didn’t get off a jab at Xander now and then.

“Dawn’s in the kitchen getting ice cream. We’ve been playing video games and haven’t seen him.”

As she entered the kitchen, Buffy watched Dawn shovel ice cream into her mouth.

“You’re going to get brain freeze if you keep eating it like that.” She crinkled her nose in distaste.

“Naw ahm nawt.”

“Have you seen Spike?”

Dawn swallowed the load in her mouth and held the back of her head, cringing. “No. Was playing play station with Xander, just like he said. Haven’t seen Spike since dinner. Ow!”

“Told you.”

Glass shattered upstairs and drew all their attention. She rolled her eyes; at least she knew where Spike was. Buffy led the way as they ran up the stairs. As she rounded the corner, Giles backed slowly out of his room.

“You will go nowhere.” Spike spat out as he followed Giles out of the room.

They both gave a guilty start when they realized, at the same time, that they had an audience.

“What’s going on here, Spike?”

He gave his head a slow shake in an attempt to calm himself down. “If Xander was in some kind of trouble, would you let him take off to handle things on his own?”

“Absolutely not,” Buffy answered without hesitation.

“How would you feel if he just up and left without telling anybody that he was in danger?”

Buffy had no idea where he was going with this line of questioning, but she was definitely alarmed. “I would be devastated that he didn’t think we could help him.”

Spike gave Giles a pointed look. “No one devastates my girl.” He held up two fingers. “Two days, Watcher. Book or no book, in two days time, I want answers.”

Giles glanced quickly at the shocked faces waiting to see what he’d do next. He bolstered himself up, turning his attention to Spike. “Agreed.”

“I’m not in any danger. Am I?” Xander asked the hallway.

Spike walked over to him and none too gently slapped his arm on the confused guy’s shoulder. “What say you and I go have a look at that basement?” The vampire glanced back at Giles. “The sooner we move in here, the better.” He pushed Xander down the stairs.

“What was that all about?” Willow asked.

Giles pointed at his room. “I need to clean up that mess and get back to work.” He gazed at Buffy before saying, “It was good to see you tonight.”

“You, too,” Buffy said softly as she watched him close his door.

“What-?” Dawn started to say.

Buffy narrowed her eyes, lost in thought. “I don’t know, but I’m going to find out.” She marched down the stairs with purpose.

When Buffy opened the door to the basement, she could hear Xander talking excitedly about beams and walls.

“Can we soundproof the new wall and door?” Spike asked.

“What do you need sound…oh. I guess we could.”

“Just thinking of my neighbors. Do unto others and all that,” Spike said with a grin and a wave of his hand.

“Look, Buffy.” Dawn pushed past her, jumped down the last steps enthusiastically and ran to the space under the stairs. “Xander could build you a huge closet here with lots of shelving.” She moved to the worktable and turned on the recessed florescent light on the wall. “And we can replace this with a black light.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Let’s not forget the disco ball and love beads.”

“No love beads, please,” Spike said with a groan. “I spent much of the sixties high as a kite after draining hippie co-eds.”

“Too much information, Spike,” Dawn said while smiling at Xander, who stared at Spike in disgust.

“Way too much information. Gross.” Xander agreed.

Spike went behind Buffy and wrapped his arms around her middle, resting his chin on her shoulder. “What do you think, love? Will this work for us?”

“Well, I like the idea of a huge closet.” She leaned back and closed her eyes for a second, enjoying the feel of Spike surrounding her. “Can we keep all of our candles? Maybe we could put up some non-flammable type shelves to put them on.”

“Anything you want.”

She turned in his arms and smiled up at him. “Even the French vanilla and apple pie scented candles?”

He groaned in mock protest. “Even those smelly things.” Without taking his eyes off his lover he said, “Let’s get those plans drawn up and supplies bought right away.”

“Sure,” Xander said halfheartedly.

Dawn pushed him towards the stairs. “Can I help?”

“Sure.” Xander paused on the stairs and looked down at the lovebirds gazing into each other’s eyes.

“I don’t understand it,” Xander said loud enough for them to hear.

“What?” Dawn asked.

“How can she look at him like that just for saying a few lovey dovey words when a minute ago, he was talking about killing young girls?”

“I don’t know,” Dawn said seriously with a shrug. “Maybe for the same reason that you could look at Anya that way after she talked about flaying open the guts of helpless men or mass murdering whole villages?”