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Not Beneath Me by Tasha
 
(5) Facing the Facts
 
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Not Beneath Me - Chapter 5 (Facing the Facts)

By MissKitty and Tasha


Chapter Summary: Don't you think it is about time that Buffy kicked Riley to the curb for good? Did a good night's rest give her the proper perspective? I sure hope so. {Smiles}

Author's Note: The first several chapters were jointly written. It will be noted which chapters were joint and which were single by Tasha only. This story was adopted with the permission of Miss Kitty (and at her request). Constructive criticisms are welcome; flaming is not.

Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed in the Prologue of this story. Thank you ahead of time for reading and accepting or abiding by them.

'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.





Buffy woke up and rolled over to look at the clock. She freaked when the clock read 9:30 am, thinking she had missed her first class. A moment's pause and she realized that today was Saturday. She rolled back over to face the closed window. She was almost asleep again when the phone rang. She tried to ignore the incessant ringing at first. Dawn loved to answer the phone. So, she hoped that Dawn would get it.

After 7 rings no one else had picked it up yet. So, Buffy leaned over to pick up the phone on her nightstand and answer it. "Hello?" Her groggy voice cracked.

"Buffy? Did I wake you up?" Riley's voice echoed clear over the line.

When she heard Riley's voice, Buffy felt slightly guilty about wanting to go back to her dreams of Spike. She knew that she shouldn't be feeling the way she did about Spike, especially without her current boyfriend knowing. "Yeah, but it's okay." She needed to make a decision, and now was the time. Her voice took on a bit of a grim note, "Hey, what are you doing today?"

"Not much, why?" Riley already knew why Buffy wanted to know what he was doing today. He wasn't going to let her slink out of any of this easily. He decided to play along for now.

"There's something that I have to talk to you about, but I need to tell you this in person."

"Okay," was the only thing that Riley could get past his lips. Whether he realized what she wanted to do or not, that didn't mean that he wasn't hurt over it all.

"How about I meet you at one of the picnic tables in the University Commons? Does 11 sound okay?" Buffy bit her lip nervously. 'I don't know if I can do this.' She inwardly cringed. 'If you want to be fair to everyone, you need to. You can't be with Riley and want Spike. It's wrong.'

"Yeah." Riley said with a sigh. "See you then. Gotta go." Riley hung up before Buffy could even say goodbye.

The dial tone blared in Buffy's ear. 'Uh-oh,' She thought. 'Does he know what I'm going to do?' She didn't think he could know. Spike wasn't even around Riley yesterday. She really hated breaking up with Riley like this, but she had realized something. Spike was right. She was not really in love with Riley. If she was, why couldn't she let him in about Dawn and talk to him about all the things that were bugging her? Wasn't he the one that she should be able to confide in?

No, instead she had confided her secrets in Spike. For some odd reason, Buffy felt like she could trust Spike. He comforted her after he found out her Mom had to go to the hospital, and he had tried to cheer her up when she told him about the spot the doctor's found. Just being with him on the back porch, at the hospital, or even in his car last night had made her feel better. She had finally felt that everything was going to be all right if he was by her side.

Buffy still couldn't figure this all out in her mind though. It didn't make as much sense in the scheme of things as it did in her heart. There was no way that she could go on with anything behind Riley's back. She did not want to cheat on her boyfriend, and she already felt bad enough about what happened with Spike. She didn't want to feel bad about anything with Spike. He was the only thing that made her feel good.

When Buffy was completely dressed and ready to go, she trotted down the stairs to the living room. Dawn and Xander sat on the couch watching movies together. "Hey guys."

"Hey Buffster." Xander grinned with a mouthful of popcorn.

"Hey Buffy." Dawn beamed. She jumped up to wrap her arms around her sister tightly.

Buffy hugged Dawn back. "I need to go out and meet Riley for a little bit. I shouldn't be too long."

Dawn huffed, stepped back and crossed her arms. She didn't like Riley. He may be nice enough at times, but he always treated her like a little kid. Besides she liked Spike better.

"Don't give me that look, Dawn." Buffy waggled a finger at Dawn then tickled her. "Xander, will you take Dawn to the hospital for me if I'm not back in time? Mom's pre-op is at 6:00 pm. The doctor said that we could see her before she went in for the removal." She tried to keep her voice solid, but she couldn't hide the fear from her face.

"Not a problem, Buffy." Xander sat up to the edge of the couch. "Are you sure that you won't need a ride too?"

"Naw. Once I get done talking to Riley, I'll come back here to get some things together for Mom." Buffy smiled to Dawn.

Dawn raised a curious brow. She knew that there was something about Buffy's demeanor this morning that seemed secretive. "I'll tell Mom that you'll be there before surgery."

"Thanks, Dawnie." Buffy hugged her again tightly. "I love you, Dawnie. I always will."

Dawn squeezed her sister once more before letting go. "Hurry up and go. The sooner you go talk to Riley, the sooner you can see Mom." She let her sarcasm be heard as she emphasized Riley's name. "If we're still here when you get back, you can go with us."

Buffy chuckled. "Don't worry, Dawn. I'll be back as soon as I can." She headed out the door. 'I don't want to drag my conversation with Riley out any longer than I need to.'

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Buffy paced through the University grounds in turmoil. She was so nervous that she had reached the campus at 10:30, a full half hour before her meeting with Riley. She tried to think of the best way to tell Riley how she felt without hurting him as much. 'Yeah, I think I might love Spike, the evil fiend who tried to kill me, more than you. So, go away so I can figure it out.' She thought to herself sarcastically. 'That would go over oh so well.'

Buffy suddenly stopped in the middle of the path between concourses. Her thoughts backtracked to what she had been thinking about a few minutes ago. 'Love him? Uh, no way.' She groaned. She knew she was starting to care for Spike, but love? 'I so can't fall in love with another vampire. Giles will kill me!'

Finally, unable to delay it any longer, Buffy reached the picnic tables in the Commons. She looked around for Riley, but he wasn't anywhere in sight. 'Odd.' She looked at her watch, 11:15. 'Great, don't tell me that the guy I'm breaking up with is standing me up for the break up?' She chuckled inwardly at that thought. She sat down at a table near a small line of trees.

A few minutes later Riley came up and sat down across from Buffy at the table. "Sorry, I'm late." His voice clipped out shortly.

"It's okay." Buffy bit the inner side of her cheek trying to remember all that she had thought to say before. Her mind went completely blank about what to say, but she noticed that Riley seemed to look a little pale today. "About what I needed to talk to you about ..." She trailed off realizing that breaking up with Riley was even harder than she thought it would be.

"Yeah?" Riley asked. There was no way he was giving her any leeway. She was going to come out with it. He had known for a while that Buffy didn't really love him like she did Angel. He never expected her to chase after another vampire though. Worst-case scenario he thought Buffy would go back to Angel.

"Well, see it's umm ... complicated. I think that maybe we should ..." Buffy broke off again. 'Come on girl. Stop stuttering like a true idiot.'

"Buffy, just say it already." Riley snapped impatiently. He knew she was breaking up with him, but damnit he wasn't going to let her drag it out this much. "Sometime this afternoon would be nice. I do have other places to be."

Buffy stared at Riley wide-eyed. She wasn't used to him getting all edgy. Yeah his face would get twitchy when he was upset, but he didn't usually snap at her like that. It gave her the courage that she needed to continue with what she needed to say. "I think we should take a break from seeing each other." She said quickly before she could chicken out again. "I don't think we should date each other anymore."

There was an awkward silence between both of them. "Is that all you want to tell me?" Riley asked. 'She isn't going to tell me about Spike. I don't know whether to be mad that she isn't telling me or happy that she isn't rubbing my face in it.'

"Yes." Buffy responded uncomfortably and confused as to why Riley was calming looking at her instead of being sad that she was breaking it off. Maybe Riley felt the need to break it off as much as she did.

"Right." Riley laughed. "You see you left out the part where you go around making out with the undead behind my back." He responded coldly. "You and your vampires."

Buffy's eyes widened in horror. 'Oh shit. He knows.' She had no clue what to say. It wasn't a matter of admitting or denying it. She wasn't going to lie to Riley, but she didn't know what to say to him now. She was growing more and more furious inside. Was he spying on her again?

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Riley continued. "I happened to see you in his car last night, and I saw you kiss him." He pushed himself to stand up partially. "How long has this been going on? Did anything else happen between you ... No, wait. I'm not sure if I even want to know the answer that last one."

"Riley, how could you think ... No, nothing else happened." Buffy felt bad enough about a few kisses. How could he even think that she'd do more behind his back. "He was giving me a ride home from dinner and then it happened." She knew it sounded horrible, but she didn't know how else to explain what she felt when she kissed Spike. She wasn't about to mention that it wasn't the first kiss either.

"Fine." Riley was fuming. "I guess I was right that a normal guy isn't enough for you. You said yourself that if superpowers were what you wanted, you'd be dating Spike." He spat the words out at Buffy wish as much venom as he could. "I told you then that you'd run off. I just didn't realize that you really wanted Spike."

Buffy was dumbfounded. This was exactly the root of their problems. She could never think of what to say to Riley, even when things were going well between them. 'Wait, who's breaking up with whom here?' She thought and decided to kick back. "Riley, my being with Spike has NOTHING to do with who is stronger than whom or if you are as strong as I am. Get over it." She had been sick of his tirade when he'd almost killed himself because of the Initiatives meddling. She definitely didn't care for his pity party now. "I can't even talk to you anymore. Face it. We've grown apart. I'm sorry, but you don't help me. You smother me. I can't do this anymore." She started to cry. What was going on with her? She was leaving a "normal" life behind to be with Spike? Was she crazy? "I'm sorry because I know this hurts you, but I also know that I'm not the only one who feels that we just don't belong together anymore. If you are honest with yourself, you'd admit it too."

If Riley had been thinking with his brain he would have seen the sense in her statement. Hadn't he told Xander a long time ago that he knew Buffy didn't love him. He was growing more and more restless in Sunnydale. He felt worthless and without purpose. Buffy never leaned on him. The Scoobies didn't seem to really need him either. Instead of dwelling on it, he lashed out at Buffy. "Yeah, like you can talk a whole lot better to Spike." He snapped, trying to cover up his own pain.

"Yes, I can actually, but I'm getting into a pissing contest of the pro's con's of Spike versus Riley." Buffy stood up, hands on her hips. "This was happening long before the whole surgery too, and you know it. Big bad Riley isn't top man on campus anymore and he's pissed about it." She sneered.

"Watch it, Buffy." Riley jumped up and got right in Buffy's face. He towered over here, but that didn't seem to faze the little blonde. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't?" Buffy laughed. "When the Initiative went down you lost your little throne at the "top" of the food chain, didn't you?" She dared him to contradict her firing at him with a glare. "You weren't lord of the manor over all things demon and human anymore. I've never needed your protection, and you couldn't stand it."

Riley's jaw clenched, and his hands fisted themselves. "You're pushing a fine line, Buffy."

"Can't handle the truth? Once in the Initiative, always an Initiative mentality. Isn't that right?" Buffy wasn't about to back down for the overgrown schoolboy. He had peeved her off, and he was going to get the full emotional outburst from Slayer and Buffy. "Face the facts, Riley. You can't accept anything but what was programmed into that brain of yours. You refuse to see that even someone like Spike can change and be a better man than you could ever be."

Riley had enough of this garbage. In a moment of rage he drew back his hand and slapped Buffy hard across the face. "I told you to shut up!" He bellowed. Students around the whole Commons area stopped to watch the spectacle.

Buffy's eyes were as round as saucers in shock. "Didn't your mother teach you that it isn't nice to hit girls?" She hit Riley with a right hook and then kicked him hard in his mid-section, sending him flying several feet away from her. "I'm warning you, Riley." She stepped up to his body on the ground. "Stay away from me, my family, and my friends." She leaned down closer, a bit of a sneer on her lips. "Especially Spike. I didn't want it to end this way but NO ONE gets away with what you just did. I don't like to hurt humans, but I will protect all that I love." With that she stood up and headed back for home. 'I'll bet that I don't even get a bruise. Wimp!'

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(To Be Continued)
 
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