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60 Breaks
 
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Chapter 60 - Breaks

Buffy slammed into Spike’s apartment without knocking. She marched over to the TV, standing in front of it with her hands on her hips. He looked up at her from his sprawled position on the couch.

“Willow just told me that you’re not going to kill her,” she said.

“And this is a problem…why?”

“Spike!”

“Right. I’ll put it on my to do list. ‘Kill Willow,’” he said, deadpan. He tried to peek around her.

“Spike!”

“Oh, what?” With an exaggerated sigh, he turned off the TV and sat up.

“You just can’t go around threatening my friends.” Buffy moved again to be in front of him.

“Didn’t threaten her. Said I’d warn her, didn’t I?”

“I can’t believe you!”

“Oh, don’t get your knickers in a twist, I was just kidding.”

“Kidding about killing her or kidding about not killing her?” Buffy demanded. “Because if you were kidding about not killing her, we need to have a talk.”

“Not killin’ anyone, remember?”

“Right.”

“Right. So why are we havin’ this conversation?”

“What about after?”

“After?”

“Yeah. You know, after our agreement?”

“I was just messin’ with her,” he said. “Havin’ some fun. You should’ve seen her f—”

“She just called me from the Bronze, practically babbling. I tried to tell her she must have misunderstood, but now I’ve got to convince her you’ve just got a sick sense of humor. Which is all it is, right?”

“I’m not gonna go killin’ your friends.”

“Do you not kill people you know?”

“Don’t get to know many people,” he answered evenly. “But I have before.”

“What about people that aren’t my friends?” Buffy asked. God, here we go again.

Spike observed her for a moment, the corner of his mouth slowly curving up. “Didn’t think of that, did you? If I stuck around after? You bring me to this nice town, with all these nice people…”

Then he said, “Though I suppose that would make things difficult for you—Slaying-wise. If I picked up somethin’ to eat while I was here.”

“Yes,” Buffy ground out. “That would make things difficult for me. Slaying-wise.”

“Guess you’ll have to keep me on the payroll.”

“Even if I did, you already said you couldn’t do that forever.”

“True. Though I s’pose I could not snack on the locals.”

Something about the way he said that wasn’t reassuring. Buffy raised an eyebrow. “You’d stop killing?”

“Didn’t say that.”

“Is that what you meant by working something out? Weekend trips to the next town over?” She tried to keep her voice from shaking. “That won’t work. Whenever you decide that you have to start killing again, you need to leave. For good.”

Spike’s jaw clenched as he visibly fumed. Then he jumped to his feet, looming over her. “So it’s fine for me to leave and do it, so long as I don’t come back?”

“No! No, it’s not fine! It kills me. It will kill me to know that you’re out there killing! But at least then you’d be just another vampire, in just another city that I’ll never see. If you’re here, and I have to look at you after—I can’t do it. I just can’t do it.”

“You don’t have much problem lookin’ at me now. Or doin’ anything else with me.” He grabbed her by the shoulders, forcing her to look at him. “What do you think I’ve done? How many people do you think I’ve already killed?”

“I don’t care! None of it would matter if you could just stop.”

“Just like that,” he scoffed. “Nice clean mental slate for you. Doesn’t work like that, love.”

“I know it doesn’t!” she choked. “I know you’ve done horrible, horrible things. But there’s nothing I or anyone else can do to change it. I know what you are. I don’t pretend you’re not a vampire. I know I should hold the past against you, but I can’t. Maybe because it’s done, finished. Maybe because I know I didn’t have any control over it.”

“You want to control me now?” His hands squeezed her arms again.

“I want to stop hurting! This, now, is fine, but whatever you do after—it will affect me, hurt me! If I’m still seeing you, I’m a part of it in some twisted way. I know you’re a vampire. But I’m not. And I just can’t do it. Maybe…maybe the past doesn’t hurt because I wasn’t there to hurt. But I’m here now. I thought…if you could realize how much you hurt me—I thought maybe you… I—I thought…”

“What? That everything would change cause of you?”

“I thought we could have a future together,” she whispered. “But I guess not.”

Spike looked stunned, like she had slapped him. His hands dropped from her side. “Are you leaving me?”

“We’re not even going out!” For some ridiculous reason, now was the time that she started to cry.

“That’s not the point! You know what we have!”

“We have now, Spike. That’s all we have. You’ve made that clear.”

I’ve made that clear?”

“Yes! Yes, you have made that clear. The killing—some part of me understands why you can’t, but you have to understand that I can’t, either.”

“What do you want from me, then?”

“I don’t know.” Buffy turned away. “God, I said I was not going to have this conversation again, yet not two weeks later—” Without another word, she walked past him and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Several moments and tissues later, she came out. “I’m going on patrol.”

Buffy didn’t wait for him to answer. She walked out the door and quickly made her way down the steps. She was all the way across the parking lot before she realized Spike was trailing behind her.

For some reason, the whole dramatic exit (though slightly less dramatic because she’d gone into the bathroom first) was somewhat ruined when the person she had been fighting with was following her. She supposed she should have expected it, yet she hadn’t expected it. Spike was clearly angry with her. He shouldn’t want to be around her.

She certainly didn’t want to be around him.

Another few blocks went by before she couldn’t stand it. He hadn’t approached her, but she just couldn’t stand it.

Buffy stopped and spun to face him. “You should go back home.”

Spike caught up to where she was. “What?”

“I just need to be alone right now. I just—can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

“Can’t deal with you.”

Deal with me? The only bloody reason I’m comin’ with you is cause you have a deal with me.”

“Right!” Buffy yelled. “You’re only here because I’m paying you to be.”

“You know that’s not true.”

“It’s how it started!”

“How it started has got nothin’ to do with it! How it started was me gettin’ a call about some little rich girl.”

“That has nothing to do with this,” she said.

“Exactly.”

“You can’t have it both ways, Spike! You just said you’re only coming with me because you’re supposed to.”

“Yeah, I’m angry. Doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. Doesn’t change what’s happened between us.”

“God, I just need some space! I am the Slayer, I will be fine for one night!”

“Gonna ‘order’ me off then?”

“Would you listen? Should I?”

“Don’t bother,” he said flatly. Then he turned and stalked in the other direction.

Buffy whipped around and continued on her way. But after getting some distance between herself and Spike, she felt calmer, and pushed him out of her mind, focusing strictly on Slaying.

She made a mental note to call Willow as soon as she got home, hoping that Spike’s idiotic ‘fun’ hadn’t made her worried enough to spill the whole thing to Giles.

Buffy rounded the corner of the first cemetery in her path. She circled the fresh graves, waiting to see if any of the occupants were going to be re-emerging. Though someone must have already done so, because she could feel the presence of a vampire nearby.

Moving around the edge of a tomb, she suddenly came face-to-face with Drusilla.

“It’s the girl,” she said.

“Is that right?” Angelus came out of the shadows behind her.

Buffy slowly backed up, holding her stake and waiting to see what they would do.

Drusilla swayed slightly. “Sunshine, sunshine, all around him. Wicked sunshine—making my boy what he shouldn’t be. Burning outside, floating inside.” She narrowed her eyes at Buffy. “You’re the one that’s gotten in,” she hissed.

“I don’t think Dru likes you,” Angelus said.

“It’s mutual.”

“Now I,” he said, pacing closer, “I like you a lot. You’ve got…potential.”

“Sorry, but I’m a one vampire kind of girl.”

“You don’t know how much fun sharing can be. But then, Spike never liked to share, either.” His eyes flicked to Drusilla.

Buffy became aware that she and Angelus were circling each other. They were really going to fight this time.

He made the first move, rushing her. Buffy avoided it, swinging to the side and spinning to face him. He came at her again, and she raised her stake.

Angelus blocked all her attempted blows, their arms locking in a cross the last time as they both fought for leverage. Drusilla continued to dance in the edges of her vision, making excited gestures like she was watching a match on TV.

Angelus won, pushing Buffy roughly to the ground and sending her rolling. As he approached, she swung her body around, kicking his legs out from underneath him as she spun hers in a wide arc. She got to her feet first, but he was only a second behind her.

They circled again, and he caught her with a right hook. She caught him with a left.

Buffy gripped her stake tighter, waiting for an opening. As she watched his every movement, estimating what his next strike would be, it hit her that she was fighting him, actually fighting him on equal footing.

I can do this, she realized. I might not be able to beat him, but I can stay alive.

Angelus lunged, and Buffy caught his arm, throwing him over her. He rolled without stopping and was quickly back on his feet, mirroring her actions as she moved.

Unfortunately, she was so focused on watching Angelus that she forgot to keep her attention divided between him and Drusilla. Angelus circled around again, and Buffy waited for his next attack. She didn’t realize that the other vampire had moved behind her.

Until a hand pulled her hair so hard that she was hauled backward and her feet were jerked out from under her. Even as she lost her footing, Buffy had the random thought that she’d been taken down by a chick fight move.

Angelus pounced, landing on her and knocking the breath out of her as she hit the ground. He dragged her partway up and turned her around, pulling her back against him. Kneeling, he locked her thighs between his own as he grabbed her arms in a vise-like grip.

Buffy continued to struggle. She slammed her head back against his, but it did nothing to loosen his hold on her.

“Whoa! Feisty thing, aren’t you?” He rearranged his arms, one hand fisting in her hair and jerking her neck back.

Buffy suddenly realized that Drusilla was bent over her and staring at her intently. Don’t look in eyes, she remembered. She tried to turn her head away, but was unable to do so, and settled for squeezing her eyes shut instead.

She felt Angelus shrug. “Oh well, we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way. What do you think, Dru?”

“Kill her!” Drusilla chanted. “Kill her, kill her, kill her now!”

There was a cry in the distance, but Buffy’s own scream died in her throat as Angelus yanked her head to the side and sank his teeth into her neck.
 
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