Vampires are supposed to dust, not leave an unnaturally still, empty shell behind after stepping in front of their mortal enemy to save their lives during an attack. A confusing funeral later and Buffy has to come to terms with having lost a lover she would never have called a lover or told her friends about, and the one person who made living bearable after being ripped out of heaven. Life crushes her even harder and she struggles to exist at all. Her only moments of escape are dreams that make it impossible to believe that Spike is truly gone.