full 3/4 1/2   skin light dark       
 
West of the Moon, East of the Sun by KnifeEdge
 
Chapter 5: No Place Like Home
 
<<     >>
 
Author's Notes: The truly odd thing I discovered when writing this story was how easy it was to extract Dawn and still keep the plot close to canon.

Thank you to everyone who has left reviews, so far. Reviews make my fragile ego very happy.

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all recognizable characters, locations, and dialogue belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and the various writers. Show writers and any other quoted authors have been credited in individual chapters. I'm making no money from this—it is purely in the name of fun.

Credits: This chapter contains dialogue adapted from the episode "No Place Like Home" written by Douglas Petrie

Betaed by Phuriedae

Banner art by Phuriedae








Chapter 5
No Place Like Home



A few days later Xander, Tara, Willow, Anya and I are at the Bronze.

"Where's Riley?" Xander asks, sliding cups in front of Anya and me.

"On his way. Said he had some stuff to do before we met up," I say with a shrug and an eye on the door.

"You seem a little... worried," Xander says.

"Worried? I'm not worried," I say. Willow and Xander give me disbelieving looks. "Okay, so I'm a little worried. But only a teensy tiny bit."

"I'm sure he's fine," Willow pats my arm.

"I know," I say, and I do. "It's just... he sometimes still acts like he's Superman, when instead he's all..."

"Bruce Wayne, without the cool toys?" Xander supplies.

"Sort of. I know he's capable of taking care of himself, but... I worry. And the last day or two, on patrol, it's been kind of..."

"Distracting?" Anya says, sipping at her soda.

"Well...," I'm not sure how to answer that, because she's kind of right. It is distracting, always having to keep an eye on him, making sure he's handling his end of the fight okay. Vampires are like other predators, and they'll usually pick on the weakest in the herd. Visually, that would be me, but once a fight starts they inevitably figure out that Riley's lagging a little behind. "It's just hard to patrol when I have to look out for him, you know?"

"It's difficult, having a relationship between unequal beings," Anya says, conversationally. "I knew this Htfif demon once who was in love with an Eno demon, only Htfif demons are incredibly intelligent and Enoes think licking wallpaper glue is entertaining. It didn't work out so well."

"Not helping, Ahn," Xander says, with an uncomfortable smile. She frowns at him.

"Riley's my equal," I say. "He's so totally my equal. I don't know why everyone seems to think I need a guy with super powers for a boyfriend."

"Who said that?" Willow demands.

"Riley," I say, remembering the look on his face in the caves.

"Well, he's wrong. I mean, if you wanted a boyfriend with super powers you'd be dating...," Willow's face scrunches up as she tries to think of someone.

"Spike," Anya says. Then, "What? You can't date Angel because of the soul thing, and Spike is the next logical choice." She glances around at all of us as if we should have thought of that ourselves.

"Logical? Anya, nothing about the idea of dating Spike is logical," I say.

"True. He's very strange for a vampire. Physically, however, you two are compatible. Close to equal strength, speed, and stamina. Not to mention that he's a good height for you, and very well muscled."

"How the hell do you know how muscled Spike is? When did you see him naked?" Xander demands, looking horrified.

"Not naked. Shirtless. And the same time you did," she says dryly, rolling her eyes. "Remember the tracking device?"

Xander blinks. "Oh. Yeah. Must have blocked that memory."

"I remember," Willow says. "But didn't really notice. Much. Except, you know, for the whole... bulging biceps thing. I wonder if all vampires are built like that?"

Tara gives her a look. "Just curious," Willow says primly. "Scientifically curious."

I'm still reeling from Anya practically repeating my thought in the cave. Also, has everyone but me seen Spike shirtless?

Clearly it's time to change the subject.

"Well, I'm not dating Spike. I'm dating Riley. And we're more than equal... except for the whole strength thing," I say. "Besides, he's kind of cute like this, all weak and kitteny."

"Kitteny?" Willow says with a smile.

"Well, like a... a... lion kitten," I say. "Not like house cat kitten." Anya still looks skeptical, and Xander has that whole male-solidarity-you're-insulting-my-gender expression that he gets sometimes.

I'm saved by Riley's timely arrival, and I immediately grab him for a dance.

"What was that all about?" he asks with a grin once we're on the floor.

"Nothing," I say. "Just... missing you."

We dance, and it's nice. Really really nice. Even though Riley isn't much of a dancer.

And his biceps are perfectly bulgy.

***


I'm worried about my mom.

I keep thinking about how awful it would have been if she'd collapsed at home, with no one there to keep an eye on her. It might have been hours before...

Okay, so not going to have that thought right now.

So Riley and I have made it a habit to check on her at night, before bed. Sometimes we even stay over. She doesn't seem to mind as much as I would have thought.

This morning, however, Riley has stuff to do, so I'm making breakfast. French toast has got to be better for mom than instant oatmeal mix or cereal. Her headaches are back, she says when she comes down. And they brought friends.

"What did the doctor say?" I ask, sliding her breakfast tray in front of her. I wish I could have gone with her to the doctor's yesterday, but she'd only been able to make the appointment when I had class.

"Oh, take four of some pills a day and come back for tests," she says. She looks tired.

"So they don't know what's wrong?" I ask, frowning. They're doctors. They're supposed to just look down your throat or x-ray you and be able to figure it out, right?
"Not yet," she says.

"Well that's unacceptable," I say. How can they have run so many tests and not know what's wrong yet? It's been days and... days. Maybe they're bad doctors. You know, laying around on the job, playing golf or something when they should be taking care of my mom. "I think we should get a second opinion."

"We need a first opinion first, honey," she reminds me.

"Fine. Let's go right now," I say. I hate this sitting around, waiting. I want to be doing something. Helping somehow. I know I'm not supposed to use Slayer strength on normal people, but nobody ever said I couldn't be bossy Buffy. We could go down to the hospital and I could... you know, encourage them to hurry it up.

"Buffy, I know you're concerned, but don't be," Mom says, as if that's something easy. How can I not be concerned? "Besides," she adds in a clear effort to distract me, "isn't it Giles's big day?"

Oh, she's good. "Bigger than big," I say with a grin. "It's his grand opening." I can't help but be a little excited for him. He even put an ad in the paper. Mom gets that look on her face she always used to get when we'd hear about a new store opening up at the mall. She may be a grown up, and I might be the Slayer, but at heart, we're still California girls and the thought of shopping--even in a weird speciality magic shop--can always put a smile on our faces.

"Well, go and bring me back a... I don't know... a flying broomstick," she suggests.

I laugh. If mom's able to make jokes about broomsticks she'll be alright for a little while. She has to be.

***


The Magic Box is silent as the grave when I get there (which is a bad analogy, I know, cause graves in Sunnydale? Not so silent). Giles, for some bizarre reason is dressed like a wizard, in purple star spangled robes. Thankfully he takes the hint and gets out of them before anyone other than us sees him. The quiet is pretty nerve wracking, until the first customers start to trickle in.

By midafternoon the shop is full of busy customers, though. Way full. Fuller than I think even Giles suspected.

Riley and I sneak into the back room to spar for a break around lunchtime. I've always had to hold back a little bit with Riley. Even when he was getting juiced by the Initiative his strength was never a match for mine. Now the gap between us is looking less like a crack in the pavement and more like the Grand Canyon. It's not really a problem; I'm used to having to hold back with Giles, but Riley gets irritated at me when I do it with him.

"I just don't want to hurt you," I say.

"You won't," he insists, but he's already holding his ribs from where I accidentally kicked too hard. "I can take it. Besides. It's good training. Not like the vampires are going to hold back on me."

I frown. He's right, of course, but it just reminds me again of why it's such a bad idea for him to be patrolling. He must read the expression on my face because suddenly he's pounding on the punching bag furiously.

"You don't have to protect me, Buffy," he says, gritting his teeth and slamming his fists into the bag.

"I know," I say, and wish it were true.

***


I leave a little later to go check on my mom. She's curled up on the couch and moaning. I want to take her to the doctor's but she insists she just needs her medication. By the time I run out, get it, and get back she's asleep.

I don't know what to do. I hate that she's here all the time by herself. I hate that her headaches are getting worse and worse. I can't go to school and be here to keep an eye on her at the same time. All day the worry has been stuck in the back of my head--is mom okay?

I throw together some soup for dinner, and we eat it and watch TV until it's time for me to patrol. Riley hasn't shown up, and I wonder where he's disappeared to tonight. He wouldn't have gone patrolling on his own... would he?

Mom's asleep again, so I grab a jacket and lock up on my way out. I'm only a few steps from the door when the tinglies kick in.

Vampire.

"Spike," I say, yanking him out from behind the tree. I haven't seen him since the chip incident and I'm not too pleased to see him now.

"Hi, Buffy," he says, giving me an odd look. For a second I blink at him. I can't think of the last time he's called me by name. Normally it's Slayer this or Slayer that. The expression on his face throws me, too. It's... soft. Which is weird. Spike never looks unsure like that, and the only thing I can think is that he's worried I'm going to stake him over the whole chip thing.

Well, I guess I do owe him one.

"Don't take this the wrong way," I say and punch him in the nose, successfully wiping that weird look off his face.

"Ow!" He scowls.

"What are you doing here?" He starts to speak but I interrupt, not in the mood for his bull tonight. I want to get to the cemeteries and make sure Riley isn't getting in trouble. "Five words or less," I tell him.

His jaw works for a minute and his eyes narrow dangerously. He holds up a hand and counts the words off on his fingers. "Out. For. A. Walk." He smirks. "Bitch."

Right, like I believe that evil vampires just go for casual nighttime strolls through residential neighborhoods.

"Out for a walk at night by my house. No one has time for this, William," I tell him. See if it throws him to be called by his name. He blinks, but otherwise it doesn't seem to bother him.

"On your merry way, then," he says, then his temper kicks in. "You know, contrary to one's self-involved world-view, your house happens to be directly between parts... and... other parts... of this town. And I would pass by in the day but I feel I'm outgrowing my whole 'burst into flame' phase."

Whatever. I really don't feel like dealing with him right now.

"Fine. Keep going, I cut you a break."

Stupid vampire doesn't know when he's getting a let.

"Oh, yeah. Okay, let me guess," he says, "you won't kill me? Oooh, the whole crowd-pleasing threats-and-swagger routine." What is he talking about? I barely threatened him. "How stunningly original. You know, I'm just passing through. Satisfied?"

He turns to go, then turns back, clearly agitated. "You know, I really hope so, because God knows you need some satisfaction in life besides... shagging Captain Cardboard and I never really liked you anyway and... and... you have stupid hair."

And with that, he turns on his heel and stalks off, leaving me standing on the sidewalk blinking after him in confusion.

What. The. Hell?

I wait, hoping that reality will kick in and make sense of whatever it was that just happened. When I glance down at the base of the tree, there's at least a dozen cigarette butts laying in the dirt.

Passing through, huh?

***


"What the hell do you think you're doing?" I ask, stepping from behind a gravestone and staking a vampire that was about to tackle Riley to the ground.

He looks up from where he's crouching after having staked a second.

"Oh. Hi, Buffy," he says. He stands, dusting off his clothes.

"You're patrolling?" I ask, irritated.

"I was on my way to your house—," he starts.

"Through a cemetery?"

"In case you haven't noticed, Sunnydale seems to have an awful lot of cemeteries," he says dryly. "Hard not to pass one."

"Pass one," I say, angry. "Not walk through one like vamp bait."

"I can take care of myself, Buffy," he says. "I'm not just going to sit on the sidelines and watch. I've been doing this for too long. I don't need you to protect me."

The pile of dust at my feet seems to indicate otherwise, but I don't say anything, not wanting to make things worse.

***

That night I'm too agitated to sleep once I'm in the dream room. The vampire is late, as usual, and I wonder about that for the first time. Vampires usually sleep during the day, so it would make sense that his time table is behind mine, even though I do tend to go to bed very late and wake up late.

If this weren't a dream, then would it mean that we're in some kind of time warp, so that we're sleeping at the same time? Like, I go to sleep at night, but he doesn't go to sleep until morning, but somehow once we're asleep we're both here... so when I wake up in the morning this is over but he's just starting to dream this...

I'm getting a headache trying to follow that so I give up.

Instead I pace carefully around the bed, keeping my hand on it for bearings.

When the tingles start I immediately turn to face them.

If nothing else, these dreams have been honing that particular Slayer skill. I've noticed on patrol that I'm more aware of the tingles than usual.

I'm surprised to find that I'm on the wrong side of the bed. His side, facing him.

Mr. Gordo doesn't move. I figure he's about ten feet away, just standing there, watching me.

"Sorry," I say with a shrug. "Not very sleepy at the moment. Decided to go for a walk, but..." I gesture at the room. "I can't see if I'm going to bump into anything."

He doesn't speak, but he does approach, very slowly and carefully. He moves absolutely silently, and it's only the tingles increase in intensity that lets me know he's moving at all.

I wonder if he's as afraid of me as I am of him?

He stops at the foot of the bed, less than three feet away from me. We're seldom this close even once we're in bed.

"Are you going to try to kill me?" I blurt suddenly. It's a stupid question, but I suddenly really want to know.

He hesitates, then very clearly taps on the bedpost twice. No.

"Why not?" I ask, confused. He's silent. "Right. You're not the talkative type. Pity more vampires aren't that way. I mean, some of them even lurk loudly. And then when they open their mouths they don't know how to shut up. Parts and other parts... yeah right. And... and... do I have stupid hair?"

There's a funny sort of noise from Mr. Gordo's direction. Then he taps again. No.

I narrow my eyes.

"Can you see me?"

He makes a hmmmphing sort of noise, half sigh, half snort of frustration. Then he taps. Yes.

"That's so unfair. Who made that stupid rule?" No answer, but I didn't really expect one. It's my turn to sigh. "I need to move. Would you...uh...walk beside me, I guess? And... maybe stop me if I'm going to run into something?"

There is a very long silence this time. So long I wonder if I've broken some unspoken rule by asking for a vampire's assistance. What if this is some kind of test? What if I'm supposed to kill him somehow, even though I don't have any weapons and am clearly at a disadvantage?

It's not like I haven't been put into that situation before.

Only this vampire doesn't seem to want me dead, and hasn't been threatening at all... well, if you don't count the nights when I can tell he's hungry. But even then he didn't try to hurt me.

If I've managed not to stake Spike for a year despite him being an annoying jerk who actually has threatened me on any number of occasions, just because he's harmless, then I guess it would be wrong to try to kill this vampire for doing nothing more irritating than being stuck in a room with me before I go to sleep. If it is a test, then I haven't failed yet by letting him live.

Finally, he taps once on the bed post. Yes.

He doesn't move, just waits for me. When I start to walk away from the bed, he falls in on my left and easily keeps pace with me.

For awhile I just move. I have so much pent up energy right now, and a ton of frustration. After awhile I start to talk, because he's clearly listening.

"My boyfriend is an idiot," I start. "He... it's really complicated, but let's just say that for awhile he had super strength and was helping me fight vampires and demons. And now he doesn't, but he's still trying to fight. Whenever I'm patrolling I have to constantly be watching out for him, and it's... not fair. To either of us. I know I don't need to protect him, but I can't help it. I'm the Slayer. It's in my job description: protect the world from the demons and the vampires. He's part of the world that needs protecting."

I sigh. Mr. Gordo just stalks along at my side. It's actually sort of nice, having someone who won't interrupt me.

"But... I don't want to have to protect him. I liked it before when we could fight side by side, even if we didn't always agree on everything. I want him to feel useful, like he's part of the team. I... just want. Is that stupid?"

I stop and wait, then realize that there's no bed nearby for Mr. Gordo to tap on. I jump a little when a cool finger taps my shoulder twice, then retreats. No.

"I wish I could see you," I say. "Do you have any idea how creepy it is to be in the dark with a vampire you can't see but who can see you?"

He chuckles very softly. It's not a menacing laugh though, just amused.

"Okay, so I guess vampires don't rate high on the list of things you find creepy." He chuckles again, taps my shoulder twice. No.

I yawn, suddenly tired. "Which way is the bed?" He hesitates, then cool fingers gently settle at my elbow and guide me forward. I let him. He has big hands, I note. We must not have gone too far because within only a few steps it seems, he stops us, then takes my wrist and guides my hand to the edge of the bed. "Thanks," I say. For a vampire, he's surprisingly polite.

I crawl into bed and sense him move around to the other side. When we're both in, separated once more by several empty feet of mattress, I pull the blankets up to my chin.

"Goodnight, Mr. Gordo," I say.

He growls softly, but I can tell he doesn't mean it. After awhile I drift off to sleep.

***

When I wake up in the morning, first thing I do is call my mom. She's fine, she says. Just tired, and her head is aching again.

All through my morning classes I turn my problems over. I don't know what to do about Riley. Maybe just give it time and we'll figure something out. As I zone out in the middle of History, and Willow has to jab me several times to get my attention, I realize that I do know what to do about my mom.

When I tell Willow, she agrees regretfully.

"Maybe things will be better by next semester," she says. I hope so.

It surprisingly doesn't take that long to drop all of your classes and arrange to move out of your dorm. Somehow I thought they'd try harder to get me to stay, but once I explained the problem everyone was really helpful.

My mother, however, is not so easy to convince.

"Buffy, you can't do this. This is your future," she says.

"And you're my mother. I can't sit in class and worry about you. My grades will just drop anyway. I can't concentrate in school knowing that you're home by yourself and sick. Once we figure out what's wrong and fix it, I'll go back. I promise. I just... I need to know you're okay," I tell her, wrapping my arms around her.

"Buffy—," she says.

"It's already done, mom. I'm moving back home tomorrow." I smile. "You've taken care of me for years. Now it's my turn to take care of you."

We hug for a really long time. This was the right decision.





 
<<     >>