Spike was at a loss, standing on a street corner smoking a cigarette and wondering how it all got so royally fucked up. He would admit it hadn’t started out particularly healthy, either, but he was a vampire and that was par for the course. Getting so involved with Buffy was never part of the plan. It had hurt to see that look on Joyce’s face, and it really shouldn’t have. Not only that but he was actually concerned for Buffy. She’d bear the brunt of her mother’s, and no doubt her friend’s, reaction. He hoped she was strong enough to face it all but he also wished he didn’t give a flying fuck about how she was handling it.

Now would be an opportune time to leave town, duster swirling behind him, cackling evilly about how he’d pissed about the Slayer’s already shitty life. One to tell the boys about in the next town, over a nice pint of blood.

Taking a deep hit from his Marlboro Spike sighed and shook his head. Things were only about to get worse. He could feel it in the air. Something bad was going to happen and he was on a collision course with it. Nothing new there then, mate he thought disdainfully.

He supposed he should have stuck around to see if the Slayer needed back-up but he wasn’t that noble and, again, the way Joyce had looked at him had put him right off. They’d always got on alright, those two. Spike suspected seeing him naked on top of her daughter may have changed her perspective on him, somewhat – but, really, trying to kill Buffy was worse and Joyce had been okay with him over that. Maybe she just needed a day or two to simmer down.

Spike crushed the cigarette out under his boot and buried his hands in his pockets. He turned on his heel and walked slowly down the street. Where exactly he was going he wasn’t sure, but he’d know soon enough. He turned the corner.

A bottle rammed forcefully into the side of his face, toppling him sideways as the glass broke against his head. The liquid inside drenched his cheek as he fell onto the ground. Instantly it started to burn like hell and Spike screamed, morphing into vamp face as he hurriedly tried to wipe the holy water from his skin. He only really succeeded in burning his hands too. As his eyes watered and his skin popped and bubbled Spike looked up at his assailant.

Xander Harris stared down at him; stake in hand, an icy expression on his face. Spike jumped up and leapt at the boy but was knocked off course by the crossbow bolt that hit him square in the chest. He wheeled backwards into a wall, looking down at the bolt that protruded dangerously close to his heart.

“I don’t think so, Spike,” Giles said gravely as he reloaded the crossbow, coming up to the side of Xander.

The vampire’s eyes flicked between the two men as he grabbed the arrow still stuck in him and yanked it out. It tore up his insides even worse and he bit back a substantial scream, throwing the weapon to the ground with a loud clatter. Spike kept in vamp-face as he dusted off his shoulders and stood up straight, a familiar sneer settling itself on his face.

“Nice to see you too, Rupes,” he spat.

Xander balled his fists, clearly raring to have another go. Giles’ hand on his arm kept him back as the three men faced off against one another. Spike had no doubt what this was all about. Part of it was because they had learned he was back in town, probably from Joyce, and that he was a threat. Mostly, though, it was because of Buffy and him. It still surprised Spike that there even was a Buffy and him. Obviously, it surprised her friends too. Surprised them enough that they’d try and kill him to protect their precious Slayer’s reputation. Spike didn’t even consider for a moment that she had sent them after him, that wasn’t her style. If she wanted him dead she would damn well do it herself.

“You’re sick, you know that? Sick!” Xander seethed, “Touching her.”

Spike frowned, eyebrow raised. “What’s sick about that? You lot wouldn’t touch her at all. Made her feel like she was a bloody leper. You’re the sick ones.”

Xander started forward but Giles grabbed his arm. “Screw you! I don’t need advice from a freaking vampire!”

“Clearly, you do,” he smirked, hand on belt. “’Cos Buffy sure wasn’t comin’ to you. And that’s the rub, isn’t it? You’ve always had a thing for her.”

As the boy’s anger began to rise even higher Spike found the pain in his face started to subside as he enjoyed taunting him. It wasn’t just that he was evil and taunting was always fun, it was that it was Xander sodding Harris and the boy had it coming. He was a dopey idiot who thought far too much of himself and he needed taking down a peg or two.

“Spike, you took advantage of Buffy when she was vulnerable. There’s no pride in that, no noble ‘being someone for her to talk to’. I can’t imagine this thing between the two of you was anything more than physical for you,” Giles looked into his eyes, unwavering. “And I’m sure that doesn’t bother you. You’re evil and Buffy is an innocent, barely more than a child.”

Spike gritted his teeth, pointing. “Listen here, mate, I’m the one Buffy chose to go to. Now, obviously I wasn’t going to say no when she threw herself at me. I’m a hot-blooded…well; no I’m not, but still. And as for innocent, she didn’t seem too innocent when she was moaning and groaning underneath me when –”

Giles shot the crossbow and Spike only just managed to turn enough so that arrow lodged in his side instead of his heart. He did a forward roll and jumped up, hissing. The two men rushed him, Giles striking him on the head with the weapon in his hands. It glanced just off his temple and Spike’s vision went black for a moment before the world came spinning back. Xander lunged at him, stake aimed for his heart.

The vampire kicked out easily and caught the boy in the stomach sending him flying back into the wall. He grabbed Giles by the front of his jumper and swung him around into the road. Spike let out a jubilant chuckle and motioned for them both to come at him again. Xander obliged, running at him whilst holding his stomach. Spike rolled his eyes and blocked the clumsy punch that was thrown in his general direction. He kept hold of Xander’s wrist as he kicked him doubly hard in the stomach again then swung him around and planted a firm foot on the boy’s bum. This sent Harris flying forward across the asphalt, gaining him a badly scraped up chin and nose. The blood in the air made Spike grin more, even as his stomach rumbled.

“That all you wankers got?” He asked.

Giles staggered to his feet, crossbow reloaded. “Not quite.”

“Take your best shot, Watcher.”

“I intend to,” he replied, circling the vampire. “But I have to say, you must be quite the actor.”

Spike kept his eyes on the man the whole time. “Oh yeah, why’s that?”

“Making Buffy believe you’ve stopped killing. Very well played, Spike.”

The vampire said nothing as he continued to follow the Watcher’s path. Buffy had told them everything, seemingly. He decided they must have all tried to stage an intervention. That was definitely their style. Ambush the girl, make her feel like shit, and then go out and try and exterminate the problem. Self-righteous twats.

Xander leapt on Spike from behind but he had anticipated that and flung him straight over his shoulder, onto Giles. The two Scoobies fell in a pile on the floor, Giles’ crossbow sailing across the road. Spike wandered over to it, touching the burns on his face gingerly and wincing when red hot pain shot across his skin. He scooped up the weapon and turned back to see the men getting to their feet.

“So, are you boys just about ready to sod off?” Spike asked casually.

“Not until you’re dead, asshole,” Xander spat at the vampire’s feet. “You just had to come and ruin everything, didn’t you? Just when Buffy was getting better.”

Spike chuckled. “God, you are an idiot, aren’t you? Why do you think she suddenly came out of her shell? Things like that need a catalyst. They don’t just happen.”

“You’re insinuating you’ve brought about the change in Buffy? You arrogant little shit,” Giles folded his arms. “You’re worth nothing and you’ll only hurt her in the long run. You’re so far beneath a girl like Buffy and you know it.”

He looked at the Slayer’s friends and didn’t reply. He had nothing to say.

Giles took Xander’s arm. “We’re leaving.”

“What? Giles, no –” Xander started to protest.

“Yes. We’ll wait for Buffy to come to her senses,” he said, looking directly at Spike. “It’s right that she be the one to stake him.”

Spike watched, finger still poised on the trigger of the crossbow, as the two men turned their backs on him and walked away. Xander still argued all the way up the street. He knew it would so easy for him to just kill them where they stood but something stopped him. Spike deeply hoped he wasn’t developing a conscience as that would do him no good at all.

When they were out of sight he walked over and sat on the curb, touching his face. It still hurt like a bitch, so he decided to leave it alone as he lit up another cigarette and tried to come to terms with how much trouble he was going to be in soon.

+ + +

As it turned out, trouble was a girl in a yellow dress. He caught movement in the corner of his eye and looked up. The Slayer was walking down the street, looking at the sky as she placed one barefoot before the other, totally absorbed in whatever it was she was thinking about. Spike crushed the cigarette under his boot and jumped up, sloping half into the shadows to hide his burns. He found it a little odd that she was all dressed up like it was a hot summer day, sans shoes, and walking down the street apparently without even a stake to her name. It was surreally beautiful too and he could imagine the scene being captured in a painting, minus his presence.

Buffy looked up suddenly, eyes finding his location at once, and stopped.“Hello.”

“Hello,” he replied, shifting from foot to foot.

They stood there without words for far too long. And it was ridiculous. If they had ever had anything to say to one another it was now. They should have been arguing or plotting or just talking everything through but when it came down to it Spike couldn’t think of a thing to say. Or, no, that wasn’t strictly true. He knew exactly what he had to say. He just didn’t have the courage. She had to know. Giles had been right about one thing – he would hurt her, and he would do it tonight. Spike was going to betray her with a simple truth.

Taking in a deep breath he didn’t need, Spike stepped out from the shadows fully to face her. He opened his mouth to speak but the look of concern that crossed her face stopped him in his tracks. Buffy walked over to him quickly and took his face in her hands, tilting it towards her.

“Who did this to you?” she asked.

For a moment he didn’t know what she was referring to. Spike looked into her eyes and saw Buffy looking back at him. A few weeks ago and she had been buried so far back behind her walls he could barely see her, but now she was here and in some small way it was because of him. He just hoped it wouldn’t be him who sent her back to that place.

“Xander and Giles,” Spike answered quietly. “Guess the secret is well and truly out.”

Buffy didn’t agree with him but then she didn’t need to. She didn’t apologise for her friend’s behaviour, maybe because she knew there would be little point in it, maybe because she knew it wasn’t her fault or maybe because it simply didn’t occur to her. She said only one thing as she traced a finger delicately over the already healing wounds.

“Just like me.”

Something in Spike broke when she murmured that. He took her wrists and lowered the hands from his face before dropping them. Looking straight in those big eyes he said the one thing he should have said a long time ago.

“I’m still killing.”

Buffy blinked. As Spike opened his mouth to explain further the Slayer slapped him hard across the face.

It wasn’t even a Slayer strength hit, just one of a girl, a woman, and that made it far worse. The burns on his face stung like hell and tears formed in his eyes but he blinked them back to maintain his gaze on her.

He would have been ready for a confrontation, a fight, swearing and screaming and all that. But when she turned on her heel and ran away he was left standing in the empty street, at a loss once again.



A/N: Next chapter will probably be the last!