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Of Light And Shadow by FetchingMadScientist
 
Running Deep
 
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12 AUGUST, 2002-

Dawn tried not to hear what Buffy and Giles were talking about. She’d learned a long time ago that sometimes it was better not to know everything.

Nothing taught her that better than listening to what Xander had told her. Because she’d listened to him, and pushed Spike out of her heart, now she might never be able to get him back.

He might never be hers, or her sister’s again.

Dawn looked at the still face of the vampire that had become her protector- and her first love. He was sleeping again. Buffy had told her that he had been awake, and talking for a little while. At first, she was upset that Buffy had not thought to wake her. She wanted to say so much to Spike. But, after Buffy told her how the Ukesolrill survived, how it grew stronger in response to the emotions of its host, and Buffy had said that she wanted to keep Spike safe; after Buffy had told her that she was sure that Spike loved her, maybe more than he loved anyone in the world, Dawn understood why she’d been left to sleep.

So, if he wanted to sleep now, to keep himself safe, that was just fine with her. She could be quiet, and keep watch over him, “That’s okay, Spike,” Dawn said quietly, “And, I’m sorry I believed Xander, even for a second. I know he’s dead, but…” she bit her lip to keep it from quivering, “I’m sorry, Spike.”

Although he was very tired and weak, Spike was aware of everything, both without and within. He wanted to comfort Bit, but right now, he had to keep his spark alive and away from the monster that wanted to snuff it out and leave him empty.

Spike had been spending so much energy trying to hide the spark-to not feel- that, ironically, the thing had become strong enough to make the spark flicker and dim. Yet, something Buffy had done had made it flare brightly again. The light was so bright that the fog had lessened. The crippling grip was loosed a bit, and had allowed him to surface. To hold her again; and, though his body seemed motionless, his mind was anything but.

Inside, the “Big Bad,” the scrapper and survivor that was “William the Bloody”- felt like roaring his victory from the rooftops of London.

You stupid wanker! Thought I wouldn’t figure it, did you?
He felt like laughing until his ribs ached. And he knew that, very soon, he would. You were wrong! I’m a vampire, you idiot! I know that, even the most bloodthirsty vampire- can eat too much, and make himself sick. The demon held the spark down deep within, and sneered at its tormenter.

And you, you bloody bastard, are about to get *violently * ill! Do you hear me, you ugly puff a smoke! I’m running deep!

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LONDON, ENGLAND 12 AUGUST, 1865-

William’s heart went out to her. That poppet was her most treasured possession. She was never without it, and now it was gone.

He had to find it. He just couldn’t bear to see her cry any longer. He kissed her forehead gently as she snuggled close in his lap, “Come now, Emma, Lady Alice would not have run off,” he smiled as his little sister stared up at him with large, open eyes. William knew, as he looked into her London blue eyes, even though he was not yet a man, that he loved her, and knew what love was. As he held her close, he whispered, “She loves you too dearly to leave you,” then his voice gained strength and rang with all the wisdom a boy of eleven summers could muster, “Are you sure you mightn’t have just left her behind when you returned from your last grand adventure?” William watched her tiny face pinch with worry as he settled her in her bed once more, “If you promise me that you will stay in bed, I will go find her. Now, where did you see her, do you recall?”

Emma’s face brightened and her tears dried quickly, “The back garden, I think. We were chasing pixies.”

“Ah,” William smiled, “that explains it. Pixies can be very crafty, and they covet poppets that belong to little girls named ‘Emma’,” he said seriously.

“They do?” her eyes were wide and incredulous.

He nodded, “Elder brothers know best,” he said, “Have I ever lied to you?”

“No,” she sighed sweetly, and the sound of it made William’s heart flutter with joy.

“It’s settled then,” he nodded, “You close your eyes, and I shall put on my coat and search the back garden for our Lady Alice.”

Emma looked nervously at the soft light that was filtering through the slats on the window shutter, “Please be careful, William. It is late.”

“Yes, I now that, Emma. And you know it is long past time you should be to bed,” he smiled as she yawned as she looked at him, “I know you cannot sleep without Lady Alice at your side, so I will fetch her for you. And,” he said as he opened the door of her room, preparing to go outdoors, “I will be most careful,” he told her as he left her room.
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The woman stood outside the charming little house, and looked into the delightful windows as the light poured out of them.

She loved the way the grass tickled her feet as she stood waiting for him. He would come, she knew. She could hear him calling to her. He would come; she just had to be patient.

Good things came to those who were patient. And she was patient. And, at one time, she had been a good girl.

He came up the path obviously cross with her, “There you are,” he growled in her ear, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” he looked at the bundle of rags she held in her hands and sighed, “Where did you find this one then?” he asked in a condescending tone that barely hid his distaste for her whims.

“She called to me. The pixies brought her to me, but he will come for her soon.”

“Who?”

She pointed to the door of the little gingerbread house as the door opened and the boy prince came rushing out. She smiled as the boy caught her eye, “Him,” she whispered.

William saw the beautiful woman as she stood at the edge of the grass that made up the back garden of the estate, and sighed with relief. The woman had found Lady Alice. Now he would not have to endure little Emma’s tears; they were more painful to him than she knew.

William walked bravely up to the woman who held his sister’s peace of mind in her arms and smiled politely in greeting, “Excuse me, Miss…you seem to have found Lady Alice,” he blushed at the warm smile the lady was giving him.

“Have I?” she asked, as she knelt to his eye level.

“Yes,” he said shyly, eyes downcast, “The poppet,” he gestured to the rag doll she held, still not looking at her, “belongs to my sister, Emma. She cannot sleep without it,” his voice grew stronger as his eyes traveled up and saw the man that stood beside this beautiful woman, “I must have it back,” William didn’t know why, but the man made him nervous, and his voice stuttered, “Please…?”

The man’s dark eyes flashed as he smiled, “You heard the boy, Drusilla. Give him back his poppet.”

“Of course,” she sang as she handed the toy over, “Here you are young prince,” she smiled, and William felt the heat rise in his face again, “Sleep tight now.”

William nodded nervously and whispered, “Thank you,” he nodded again as the woman stood up, still smiling at him.

Then, William quickly turned and ran back into the house.

************************************************************

Looking closely at Spike, Dawn began to notice something, and her heart jumped in her throat. She could see tears trickling out from under Spike’s closed eyelids. And she thought she heard him say a name.

“Emma,” he croaked.

Dawn bolted to the staircase landing, and shouted down, “Buffy, Willow… Giles! Get up here!”
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