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Because He Needs Me by DreamsofSpike
 
Making Plans
 
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“No. That’s a terrible idea. I won’t let you do it.”

Dawn’s voice was surprisingly calm, but her eyes were narrowed dangerously, and her arms were crossed firmly over her chest, as she tried her best to stare down her older but shorter sister.

She knew that Buffy meant well – but she had just made a promise to Spike, a promise that very well might have been the only thing that was allowing him to sleep right now, and she was determined to keep it, no matter what Buffy’s reasons might be for breaking it.

Spike had cried in her arms on the floor, until he had so thoroughly exhausted himself that he seemed about to pass out right there; so Dawn had helped him to the bed, and lain on top of the covers beside him, until he had fallen asleep, and long after – until Buffy had come upstairs from her confrontation with Xander.

Angel had been with her; Buffy had agreed to his earnest request to spend some time with his childe, to see if he could help him. When they had found him asleep, the older vampire had resigned himself to waiting, recognizing that the traumatized younger vampire most likely needed every moment of rest that he could get.

He had moved as if to leave, but Buffy had stopped him, motioning Dawn away from the bed and out into the hall. Once the three of them and Giles were assembled in the living room, Buffy had gone about describing the fledgling, make-shift sort of plan she had been formulating for only the past few minutes – the plan she had had no intention of getting into without her sister present.

Dawn was as much a part of this as she was, she knew.

And now, Dawn was doing her best to keep the plan from being carried out.

“It’s only so that we can keep him safe in the long run,” Buffy argued, a bit impatiently, though she really understood why Dawn did not want to do it. “Just so we’ll have proof positive, no way of getting around it…”

“You *already* have proof positive,” Dawn pointed out, a stoic air to her as she stared at her sister, unwavering. “You know he did it.”

“And if I confront him, he’ll find some logical explanation for why…”

“And you’ll *believe* him? Just like that?” Dawn’s tone was angry now, as her stare became a glare. “Buffy, I can’t believe…”

“No, I won’t believe him!” Buffy cut her off sharply, a bit offended by Dawn’s words. “But others might. Willow. Anya. Anyone who might potentially be involved in this, and who hasn’t seen all the signs we’ve seen.”

“Honestly, Dawn,” Giles spoke up softly, casting apologetic glances toward her, and Angel in turn, “I must confess that I’m not quite positive myself that the boy is guilty. It certainly does appear that way – but Xander’s…well…”

“It’s *Xander*, Dawn,” Buffy broke in, her voice tired and heavy with sorrow. “He’s been like – like *family* for so long! I almost feel like – we have to know beyond any shadow of a doubt, *ever*. Can you see that? I mean – if there’s even the slightest fragment of doubt, and we…I just think it’s best if we make sure that we know for a fact – and eyewitnesses are the best proof there is…”

“*No*!” Dawn snapped. “I promised him, Buffy – and so did you! I don’t care why, you can’t *deliberately* put him in a situation like that!”

“I’m sorry, Buffy, but I have to agree,” Angel said quietly, his dark gaze intent on hers. “He’s progressing, from what you’ve told me – and you don’t want to set him back again. Something like what you’re suggesting…after you’ve promised to protect him…even if we *do* make sure that that boy can’t ever touch him again – it’d be a good long while before Spike would believe it!”

There was a moment’s silence, as Buffy took in the common sense truth of their arguments. Finally, she looked up again, her eyes wide with inspiration.

“What if we ask him first?” she suggested. “Make sure it’s okay with him? So he knows what’s going on beforehand…that way it might have a *positive* effect on him, in the long run.” When no one responded for a long moment, she looked between them, her expectant expression becoming uncertain, as she asked hesitantly, “What do you think?”

“I think that we’ll have to convince him that it’s safe to admit it’s Xander at all, before we even think of anything like that,” Dawn replied without hesitation. “Buffy, whatever he did to him last night – Spike is terrified. He absolutely refuses to admit that it was Xander…”

“Well, then,” Giles suggested cautiously. “Perhaps – it *wasn’t*…”

“It was.”

The Slayer’s hard tone brooked no argument, her dark green gaze focused on the wall just beyond her sister, as she thought carefully about the situation. “There has to be some way to get him to admit it – we just have to convince him that we’re not going to let anything happen to him…”

“Easier said than done, when we already did!” Dawn pointed out grimly.

Buffy shook her head, refusing to accept the hopeless look on her sister’s face that said the plan was doomed to failure. “I’ll just have to find a way,” she insisted. “I’ll have to make him see that it’s okay to tell the truth – that we won’t let Xander hurt him again…”

As she spoke, she headed resolutely toward the stairs, determination in her gaze despite her sister’s protests of alarm. But it was not Dawn’s voice that stopped her at the foot of the stairs, a sudden sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, and uncertainty in her eyes, at the thought of attempting to convince Spike that she was capable of protecting him, when she knew she had already failed him more than once.

She turned around abruptly at the foot of the stairs, a sheepish expression in her eyes as she faced her friends and sister.

“I’ll talk to him,” she stated firmly. “When he wakes up.”

*******************************

Giles was heading for the door an hour later, after thoroughly discussing Buffy’s idea with her and Angel. Dawn’s protective instincts had driven her upstairs, back to Spike’s side – that, and her utter disapproval of Buffy’s plan, her desire to have nothing to do with it.

Buffy was troubled by how strongly Dawn opposed the idea, but she really felt that it was the only way. She was sure that she could convince Spike to go along with it, and as long as he knew that he would be perfectly safe -- what was the harm? For some reason, it was very important to her that Xander have no excuse whatsoever when she confronted him.

And maybe -- just maybe, she barely admitted to herself -- *she* needed that last little bit of absolutely irrefutable proof -- needed to see the truth with her own eyes, once and for all, in order to make herself accept what she was now all but certain was the terrible truth about the young man she had thought was her best friend.

“Call me when you’re ready to put this plan into action, Buffy,” Giles said, looking at her as he reached for the door handle. “I am in agreement with you completely – I feel that we must know for certain before we make any rash actions.”

He opened the door and moved to step out onto the porch – coming up short immediately at the sight of a very startled, wide-eyed Anya standing directly in his path, a trapped, deer-in-the-headlights sort of look in her green eyes.

Both Buffy and Giles stared at her for a moment, unsure what to say, or why she had been standing there on the porch, not knocking – just standing there.

“Um – hi,” the vengeance demon said in an uncharacteristically quiet, uncertain voice, glancing nervously between the Slayer and her Watcher. “I was – just about to knock. I certainly wasn’t just standing there trying to *decide* whether or not I should knock – I’d definitely already decided to knock. Because even though I slept with your sort of, not quite boyfriend a few months ago, and my sort of, not quite fiancé at the time tried to kill him, and it was a whole big thing – and now your ex-sort-of-not-quite boyfriend is living here with you, and there’s a good chance that you don’t really want me around at the moment doesn’t mean that I feel awkward around you at all. I don’t. I don’t feel the least bit awkward. So I have no problem whatsoever just walking right up and knocking at your door, like any friend would do. Because – we’re friends. So – no awkwardness here.”

Anya paused for a deep breath, and then added simply, looking Buffy in the eyes, “And besides – Spike is my friend. He’s always been nice to me, and never treated me like a freak because I wasn’t born human – and he tried his best to comfort me when my heart had just been shattered into a million pieces…so I really don’t care if it’s awkward or not…” She shrugged, a sort of strange little half-smile on her face as she finished, “I’m here to help.”

There was a long moment of silence as both Giles and Buffy struggled to process all that she had just said in that long, breathless speech.

“Nope,” Buffy remarked dryly. “No awkwardness here.” She smiled apologetically at Anya as she said in a deliberate and completely sincere voice, “Come in, Anya. You are more than welcome. We need as much help as we can get around here lately.”

And as she and Giles both stepped aside, allowing Anya to walk into the house, Giles’ pointedly expectant look at her gave her a sudden realization – and an unexpected queasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

“Oh,” Anya remarked with surprise at the sight of Angel, seated on the sofa, his brow furrowed in deep thought, as he went over Buffy’s idea again in his head – an idea he was not exactly pleased with. “Angel. Hello – are you evil?” Anya asked bluntly, with a stiff, artificially pleasant smile.

Buffy was too troubled by the unspoken question in Giles’ eyes to even think about her houseful of unexpected guests at the moment.

*Oh, God,* she thought, her eyes widening with dismay. *How am I going to tell Anya?*

********************************

In the end, Buffy put off the decision, deciding that it would be best to wait to say anything to Anya until they were *absolutely* sure. She ignored the severe expression on her Watcher’s face, saying clearly that he knew she was just being a coward.

If she was honest with herself, she *knew* deep down in her heart that Xander was guilty – she was just desperately hoping for some last ditch piece of evidence to come hurtling out of the blue and prove beyond all doubt that it could not have been him. And if she could not quite admit it to herself just yet – how could she possibly bring herself to tell Anya?

Giles pulled her aside, while Angel was trying to make polite conversation with Anya, in spite of his current state of distraction.

“Buffy – you *must* tell her!” he told her urgently. “We’re discussing the situation – deciding on a course of action – she needs to know.”

“I can’t, Giles,” she refused, her jaw set stubbornly. “You want her to know so bad? You tell her. I’m going to go check on Spike and Dawn.”

And with no further explanation or opportunity for argument, she turned and flounced up the stairs.

As she opened the door to her room, her tumultuous thoughts were immediately distracted by the heart-rending sight of her little sister, lying on the bed beside Spike, raised up on one elbow and gazing down at him through tear-filled eyes. He was sound asleep, completely unaware of the tears that streaked her face, and the gentle, trembling hand that ran slowly, tenderly, through his hair.

When Dawn noticed Buffy in the doorway, her eyes visibly hardened, still glittering with tears, but suddenly blazing with resentful indignation.

“Don’t you dare wake him up,” she ordered in a slightly sullen voice, looking back down at Spike, rather than meeting her sister’s eyes. “He’s been through enough for one day – for longer,” she corrected. “If you’re going to do this to him, you can do it when he wakes up on his own.”

Buffy knew very well that if she really wanted to wake Spike now, there was nothing Dawn could do to stop her.

She also knew that her little sister *needed*, deep down, to protect her friend – so she did not object to the cold, commanding tone Dawn had taken with her. She did not say anything for a moment, as she sat down slowly and carefully on the edge of the bed.

“Don’t worry,” she said finally, a slightly sheepish and completely humorless smile on her face as she looked up at Dawn through serious, sympathetic eyes. “I don’t have any intention of waking him up.”

Something in Buffy’s voice drew Dawn’s attention, and she looked up at her older sister speculatively. Studying the Slayer’s nervous, averted eyes for a long moment, Dawn’s lips slowly turned up into a smirk.

“Chicken,” she accused softly.

“What?” Buffy frowned at her, startled by the word.

“Chicken,” Dawn repeated matter-of-factly. “You’re just not waking him up because you’re scared to. You’re determined to do this, but you don’t want to be the bad guy. You’re afraid of his reaction.” She paused before adding slowly and decisively, “You’re a chicken. You’re nothing but a great big chicken Slayer.”

Buffy’s surprise faded, and she returned her sister’s gaze, as she replied with a completely straight face, “I have never slayed a chicken in my life.”

Dawn visibly fought the smile that wanted to rise on her face – then let out a weary sigh of defeat, laughing softly – and Buffy laughed with her, though both girls were careful to be quiet enough that they did not disturb the sleeping vampire beside them. The soft laughter died away, and both girls stared down at Spike, rather than each other, lost in their own thoughts.

“You really think this is the right thing to do?” Dawn asked, a slightly incredulous sound to her voice as she finally looked up at Buffy.

“I hope so,” the Slayer responded honestly. “I mean – Dawn – I have to know for sure – you know? Because – if Xander really did this…he can’t be a part of our lives anymore, and – and he needs to pay for what he’s done. And – I can’t – do that – make that happen – unless I know for absolutely sure – you know?”

Dawn was quiet, considering what she had said, before nodding her grudging acceptance. “I *do* know for absolutely sure,” she informed her sister. “Xander did it.”

Buffy frowned, surprised at the words, as Dawn had not been present to hear Xander’s little slip downstairs. “How do you know?” she asked her.

“You should have seen him up here a little while ago, Buffy,” Dawn explained after a moment, her voice thick with tears. “He was scared out of his mind – I asked him if Xander did it – and he wouldn’t say so – he was too afraid to – but I *knew*. If you’d seen him – you’d know.”

Buffy was quiet for a long moment, before she conceded quietly, “I’m going to talk to him when he wakes up, Dawn. I’m going to make sure he knows that we – we already know. And I’m going to be sure that he understands what we’re going to do.” She paused, before deciding only as she said the words aloud, “And I’ll only go through with it if he’s okay with it – okay?”

Dawn’s eyes widened, shining with relief and hope at Buffy’s promise. “Really?”

“Really,” Buffy confirmed with a decisive nod. “I don’t want to – to put him through any more pain. But – as long as the person who did this to him is still out there, able to get to him – he’s not gonna stop hurting. And – if that person is Xander – we have to know for sure.”

Dawn nodded, recognizing the truth in her sister’s words.

As Buffy rose from the bed and headed back toward the stairs, satisfied that she had both appeased her little sister, and come to a final decision about her plan, Dawn smiled down at Spike, sleeping on, blissfully unaware of said plan.

“It’s okay,” she whispered the words she had spoken a hundred times since Spike had come home to them, though this time he did not actually hear them. “It’s okay…we know who did this to you, Spike – and we’re going to stop him for good. Soon – it’s all gonna be over – and no one will ever hurt you again.”
 
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