NEW SUMMARY: Spike goes on a quest to atone for wronging Buffy. But, there are people in high places that do not want him to succeed- or survive. If he does, will he change the world? Canon until "Seeing Red." Goes AU from there. NOMINATED at the Spuffy Awards Round 12 for "BtVS Rewritten" & at BIFA for "Best WIP, Best Angst/Drama", also nominated at the Spark & Burn Awards, and at LLGA for Best angst, Saga, and Plot. WINNER Fang Fettish Round 5: Best Supporting Character-Giles. RUNNER UP at the Spark and Burn Awards 2nd Round for both "Best Angst" and "Best Fight Scene."
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Character Death
Words: 1,262 - Updated: 03/22/2006 07:01 am

 
As Giles ponders life, Spike hears an ugly rumor.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 1,583 - Updated: 03/27/2006 10:10 pm

 
"The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it."
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,854 - Updated: 04/02/2006 08:51 pm

 
The Council knows more than it's telling.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,062 - Updated: 04/06/2006 06:30 pm

 
In order to build something new the old must be torn down.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 3,012 - Updated: 04/14/2006 11:03 pm

 
Some things are better together
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,226 - Updated: 04/20/2006 09:55 pm

 
We all walk a tightrope between good and evil.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,300 - Updated: 04/25/2006 12:48 am

 
There is a reason we do what we do
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Explicit Sexual Situations, Rape (Implied)
Words: 2,967 - Updated: 04/28/2006 10:48 pm

 
Actions speak louder
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,982 - Updated: 05/03/2006 02:34 am

 
Growing can be painful
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 2,337 - Updated: 05/06/2006 11:42 pm

 
Some monsters are men, and some men are monsters
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,580 - Updated: 05/13/2006 03:03 am

 
There is nothing Spike wouldn't do to save the ones he loves
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 1,914 - Updated: 05/16/2006 12:35 am

 
People fear what they don't understand
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 1,261 - Updated: 05/18/2006 12:04 am

 
The weather in England is changing
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 1,204 - Updated: 05/20/2006 10:26 pm

 
Tunnel vision isn't always a good thing.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Torture,
Words: 1,914 - Updated: 05/25/2006 10:46 pm

 
Rules are made to be broken
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,747 - Updated: 05/29/2006 01:08 am

 
Buffy finds out what she means to Spike. And, so does Travers.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,042 - Updated: 06/02/2006 12:16 am

 
Sometimes it's best to start over.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 2,294 - Updated: 06/06/2006 10:34 pm

 
The Council cannot accept change
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Extreme Violence
Words: 2,441 - Updated: 06/13/2006 02:05 am

 
Things may look nice on the outside- but if you look closer...
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,288 - Updated: 06/16/2006 10:56 pm

 
Pay attention to the man behind the curtain
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 3,340 - Updated: 06/21/2006 12:34 am

 
What is going on behind the curtain?
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Torture
Words: 1,660 - Updated: 06/24/2006 03:22 am

 
Some secrets are best kept
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,268 - Updated: 06/29/2006 11:12 pm

 
The darker things look...
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Torture, , Character Death
Words: 2,411 - Updated: 07/06/2006 05:20 pm

 
Spike's "family" mounts a rescue. AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those readers who missed the correction, Buffy arrived in Devon on August 2nd, 2002.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Character Death
Words: 3,035 - Updated: 07/11/2006 06:57 pm

 
Something wicked this way comes...
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,135 - Updated: 07/13/2006 09:20 pm

 
Travers's madness is revealed
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,780 - Updated: 07/16/2006 05:18 am

 
Spike struggles while waiting, and hoping-for rescue
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,470 - Updated: 07/21/2006 04:47 am

 
Buffy breaks through
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,779 - Updated: 07/24/2006 04:37 am

 
Buffy reaches deep within...and Spike reaches back.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,472 - Updated: 07/28/2006 08:50 pm

 
More is revealed...
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,743 - Updated: 08/01/2006 07:34 am

 
As Buffy, Willow and Giles think things through, Spike goes on instinct
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,437 - Updated: 08/04/2006 12:48 am

 
Spike has a very painful past
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Character Death
Words: 1,470 - Updated: 08/08/2006 06:41 am

 
Buffy sees the enemy
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 2,081 - Updated: 08/13/2006 06:37 am

 
Prophecies don't tell you everything...
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,342 - Updated: 08/18/2006 10:11 pm

 
Buffy faces the monster inside of her
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Explicit Sexual Situations
Words: 1,418 - Updated: 08/26/2006 04:03 am

 
Even a hero needs someone to lean on in times of crisis
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Explicit Sexual Situations
Words: 1,583 - Updated: 08/30/2006 06:36 am

 
Buffy makes a promise
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Explicit Sexual Situations
Words: 1,687 - Updated: 09/05/2006 04:39 am

 
Giles discovers something...
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,348 - Updated: 09/08/2006 06:45 am

 
The inverse of happiness is grief
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,248 - Updated: 09/14/2006 08:39 am

 
It's time to act
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 1,724 - Updated: 09/17/2006 11:30 pm

 
The goal of every warrior is to survive
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,205 - Updated: 09/23/2006 09:09 pm

 
We all must face ourselves, one day
 
Genre: Angst - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,260 - Updated: 09/28/2006 01:22 am

 
Sometimes you need to see a thing in order to believe in it
 
Genre: Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,437 - Updated: 10/02/2006 04:20 am

 
Just who is, "William the Bloody?"
 
Genre: Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,601 - Updated: 10/06/2006 10:59 pm

 
Changes have tostart somewhere
 
Genre: Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,558 - Updated: 10/12/2006 03:25 am

 
The Watchers' and the vampires' role is mulled over.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,367 - Updated: 10/15/2006 10:27 pm

 
Buffy says she's sorry...like only she can
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,263 - Updated: 10/21/2006 12:01 am

 
The how's and the why's
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,278 - Updated: 10/27/2006 03:24 am

 
Giles asks a question only Spike can answer
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Rape (Implied)
Words: 1,502 - Updated: 10/28/2006 11:20 pm

 
Let's talk...
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 2,098 - Updated: 11/03/2006 07:11 pm

 
Your past can affect how you relate to others
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Character Death, Extreme Violence, Rape (Implied)
Words: 1,724 - Updated: 11/11/2006 01:11 am

 
Views are changing...and not all for the better
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,278 - Updated: 11/19/2006 05:30 am

 
The whole is more than the sum of the parts.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,787 - Updated: 11/23/2006 03:40 am

 
It's good to have someone there when you fall.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,472 - Updated: 11/30/2006 02:41 am

 
Not all that glitters...
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,320 - Updated: 12/09/2006 04:33 am

 
A voice from the past seeks to ruin Buffy's future.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,981 - Updated: 12/16/2006 01:54 am

 
What're they gonna do now?
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Torture,
Words: 1,392 - Updated: 12/20/2006 04:00 am

 
Every knight takes something with him into battle.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,157 - Updated: 12/25/2006 01:55 am

 
Buffy offers something...
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,383 - Updated: 12/27/2006 05:17 am

 
A new day is coming
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: , Explicit Sexual Situations, Extreme Violence, Rape (Implied)
Words: 2,607 - Updated: 01/06/2007 02:30 am

 
Spike gets swept away...
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: , Explicit Sexual Situations, Rape (Implied)
Words: 1,253 - Updated: 01/16/2007 05:19 am

 
Only the fire-born can understand blue.- Carl Sandburg
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Explicit Sexual Situations
Words: 1,375 - Updated: 01/27/2007 07:18 pm

 
Buffy finds something new...and old, borrowed, and blue.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,220 - Updated: 02/02/2007 09:43 pm

 
...seem to be a little in the dark.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,377 - Updated: 02/14/2007 03:23 am

 
We all must grow, and find where, in the world, we fit.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: , Extreme Violence
Words: 1,178 - Updated: 02/25/2007 01:36 am

 
The hardest thing Spike has ever had to do
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Explicit Sexual Situations
Words: 1,337 - Updated: 03/07/2007 02:06 am

 
Spike has a plan. But, will it break Buffy's heart?
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,154 - Updated: 03/14/2007 03:31 pm

 
The Slayer's instincts may have damaged Buffy beyond repair
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 1,491 - Updated: 03/29/2007 03:48 am

 
The aftermath...
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: , Extreme Violence
Words: 2,451 - Updated: 04/14/2007 07:59 am

 
Buffy surrenders.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: , Character Death, Extreme Violence
Words: 1,603 - Updated: 04/30/2007 10:48 pm

 
Giles watches Buffy's world crumble.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Character Death, Extreme Violence
Words: 1,189 - Updated: 05/17/2007 06:26 am

 
Sometimes you can love someone so much that it kills them.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,900 - Updated: 06/06/2007 05:41 am

 
Who has the power now?
 
Genre: Angst - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,185 - Updated: 06/24/2007 01:42 am

 
Buffy suggests something drastic
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Extreme Violence
Words: 2,021 - Updated: 07/11/2007 04:13 am

 
There is a ray of hope
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,271 - Updated: 08/07/2007 11:51 pm

 
"When we die, we go into the arms of those who remember us. We are home now..."- from the song "Out Of This World" by Bush.
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning:
Words: 1,273 - Updated: 09/01/2007 12:11 am

 
Giles's escape plan
 
Genre: Drama - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,311 - Updated: 09/08/2007 11:06 pm

 
Problem solving...Scooby style.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: none
Words: 1,971 - Updated: 10/08/2007 06:17 am

 
Can we learn from the past?
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: , Extreme Violence
Words: 1,545 - Updated: 10/26/2007 09:01 pm

 
We all need a reason to fight.
 
Genre: Drama, Angst - Rating: R
Warning: Character Death
Words: 1,448 - Updated: 11/10/2007 01:45 am